that's life

My top ten movies of 2011

2012-01-20T11:39:00.000-08:00

The title of this post is a big ol lie! This isn't a top ten list at all. It's a top twelve. When I combed through the list of movies I saw last year I starred the ones that entertained me the very most. Some wildly amused me (Bridesmaids), some kept me on the edge of my seat (Mission: Impossible), some charmed me completely (The Artist), and two fit every category of movie-going joy I know (Crazy Stupid Love and Drive). When all was said and done, my top ten was a top twelve.

This wasn't an entirely easy process for me. It never is. I am an easy person to entertain. As long as the movie isn't pure crap (I'm looking at you Bad Teacher!) I will probably find something redeeming and enjoyable about it. If for an hour and a half, a movie doesn't bore or offend me then I am likely pretty pleased to have seen it. For the record, the most offensive thing a movie can do is assume that the audience is made up of idiots. Because I am so easily entertained, I could have starred nearly every movie I saw last year. I tried to be more discerning, but I'm not gonna lie, I mean Footloose was really, really good!

My top 12 in a very loose (and not agonized over) top down order based on sheer entertainment value and enjoyment level:

#1. Bridesmaids
I loved this movie. It was funny, well written and fun from beginning to end. I giggled from the time it started until it ended. I had received free passes to see a preview of it and loved it so much that when it came out in wide release, I went back and paid full price to see it again. I have to add that my mom didn't like this movie and I cannot for the life of me understand why. Yeah it had some good crude bathroom humour but done in such a ridiculously fun and charming way. Yes, I believe I just referred to Melissa McCarthy defecating in a sink as fun and charming.

#2. Drive
Ryan Gosling, 80's sounding infectious pop music, hot pink titles, an intriguing story, creepy-cool visuals, car chases, shootouts, crazy unexpected bursts of violence, a scorpion jacket, and a sweet love story. This slow moving, character driven movie was compelling and thought-provoking. I wanted to see it again in the theatre but just never got around to it. It has been nominated for a BAFTA and I am hoping it gets an Oscar nod or two.

#3. Crazy Stupid Love
Again, Ryan Gosling, in all his shirtless wonder. As Emma Stone's character exclaims when she sees him shirtless, dude looks photoshopped. This movie is a triple threat, drama, comedy, and romance. A Dromancedy if you will! (I am more proud of that word than I probably should be). In terms of what I'm looking for in a movie that I wish I could experience for the first time over and over again, Crazy Stupid Love has it all!

#4. Footloose
Everybody cut, everybody cut, Footloose! Better than the original I dare say. Updated and less bleak than the original. And the dancing is just so damn fun to watch!

#5. 50/50
Aside from being a touching, heartwarming and ultimately uplifting film, this movie was enjoyable just to look at for a couple of reasons; it was filmed in Vancouver, so it was fun to see so much of our fair city (even if it was posing as Seattle), and it stars the adorable and talented Joseph Gordon-Levitt who is just a pleasure to watch do anything. This movie has the distinction of being the one movie this year to get me to do the ugly cry - twice!

#6. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
I'm not sure I took a single breath during the Dubai hotel sequence. Tom Cruise is crazy! My palms were actually sweating. It was interactive movie-viewing at its best! Without any 3-D tricks. I saw it on IMAX and I'm so glad I did. Also filmed in Vancouver (posing as ... everywhere!) it was fun to spot my neighbourhood! This was just good, clean, adrenaline-pumping fun!

#7. Hanna
The opening scene made me cringe and wonder what I'd gotten myself into. The next 109 minutes were thrilling and made me glad I was there. The story of a 16-year-old girl (the amazing Saoirse Ronan) who was raised by her father to be the perfect assassin, dispatched on a mission across Europe, tracked by a ruthless intelligence agent and her operatives.

#8. Moneyball
I didn't have much of a desire to see this movie. I'm not a big fan of Brad Pitt and it is a movie about baseb..zzzz. What? Oops, sorry did I drift off there?! Well, thankfully Moneyball is the least boring movie about baseball ever! I was enthralled and fully entertained! And Brad Pitt was, dare I say it, great! Jonah Hill ruled the movie and the side story about Billy Beane's relationship with his daughter captured my heart - so sweet!

#9. The Artist
I had to do a bit of smooth-talking to get my sister to go see The Artist with me. She didn't have much interest in seeing a black and white silent movie. As we sat among a sea of white-haired movie patrons waiting for the movie to start, I felt the pressure of having talked my sister into a movie that I knew nothing about, all based on one positive word-of-mouth review. What if the black and white silence is gimmicky? The movie began and, admittedly, it took about 10 minutes before I felt no longer aware of the 'gimmick' which wasn't gimmicky at all! It was charming and beautiful and entirely enjoyable.

#10. Midnight in Paris
I am a fan of the Woody Allen movies I end up seeing, which seems to be every other one or so. Apparently, I'm on the right track because I hear that every other Woody Allen movie is not very good. I somehow jumped on the right schedule! I am also an Owen Wilson fan, and a fan of Paris and charming time travel stories, especially when the time travel is into the character doing the traveling's favourite era.

#11. The Help
I struggled with putting this movie on my list. I read the book two weeks before seeing the movie and so it was nearly impossible not to make comparisons and see what was different. It's a mistake I will try to avoid in the future. Having said all that, I was fully entertained, if not a bit distracted by my brain. The cinematography was beautiful. I'm frustrated by two minor changes to the ending of the movie because when it comes down to it, they aren't really minor changes at all in how much they alter the message of the book.

#12. My week with Marilyn
Michelle Williams is a wonder! Having said that, I also struggled with putting this movie on my list. I enjoyed every part of MWWM, so I have no reason not to add it to my top movies. It's like the difference between an A and an A+ on a college paper; it did everything right, it just didn't go over and above for me. Other than Michelle Williams of course, she really is a wonder!

#13. Super 8
I didn't star this movie at all originally. I looked back over my list and wondered how on earth I could've missed it. Kids, aliens, Steven Spielberg, JJ Abrams. This movie was like the love child of Goonies, E.T, Stand By Me, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Cloverfield - all great movies!

Ok, ok, so I snuck in a last minute 13th movie! Whaddaya gonna do?!

Movies 2011

2012-01-19T14:08:00.000-08:00

I wasn't going to do it but I am such a movie person and such a list person that I can barely stop myself!

I was able to compile a list of all the movies I saw in 2011 by relying on lists made by my two movie buddies. I knew that the list was going to be shorter than years past but I didn't really know by how much. Turns out it was a fair amount. I saw only 31 new movies in the theatre in 2011.

Because I am me, and slightly O.C.D. with my list making, I categorized the list of 31 movies 7 different ways: chronological, how many per month, by days of the month, by days of the week, alphabetical, from favourite to least favourite, and then my top movies of the year.

I won't bore you with the statistics (though I probably really will at some point) and instead just jump into the full list. My top picks for the year will be in another post.

Movies I saw in 2011 in chronological order

No Strings Attached
Blue Valentine
Cedar Rapids
The Adjustment Bureau
Paul
The Lincoln Lawyer
Source Code
Bridesmaids
Hanna
Something Borrowed
Super 8
Midnight in Paris
Bad Teacher
Forks over Knives
Horrible Bosses
Friends with Benefits
Crazy Stupid Love
The Help
Our Idiot Brother
Drive
50/50
Ides of March
Footloose
Moneyball
Breaking Dawn
The Muppets
New Year's Eve
Young Adult
My Week with Marilyn
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
The Artist

I saw only one absolutely terrible movie this year and it was Bad Teacher. Awful movie!

There were so many other movies that I wanted to see: Martha Marcy May Marlene, Margin Call, Beginners, The Trip, The Tree of Life, Another Year. But for whatever reason I just didn't get out to the theatre as often in 2011. I would like to think that for 2012 I'll be back in the swing of regular theatre going, but it is Jan 20th today and I have yet to see a movie this year!

2012 - here we go!

2012-01-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

Usually at this point in the year, I write blog posts about the year in review. I'd cover events, concerts and movies. I know of one person who actually uses my movie review list to help decide what movies to rent but that's it. This past year, I didn't keep track of any of the movies that I saw. I kept no running list throughout the year. In a way, I knew I could skip it because I knew that the two people I see movies with the most were both keeping their own lists and at the end of the year I could use their lists to compile my own - which I think I will do.

I have no interest in writing a year-in-review post. I have no desire to look over the past year and pick through the things that happened. It was a year like any other, with ups and downs, and I am happy to be putting it behind me and moving forward. I learned some valuable lessons and had some experiences. I spent a year of sowing (years of sowing actually) and I am optimistic that 2012 will be a year of reaping.

So to 2012!
Cheers to all of you!
May this be a year of blessing and reaping for you all!
kt

The power of a song

2011-11-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

I'm trying something new. I have found with my schedule this semester that I don't make time for the coffee shop/writing lifestyle that I enjoy so much. So my plan is to get up early one weekend morning each week and fit it in then. It brings me joy, it makes me happy, it brings me peace; therefore, I must do it!

There is a website that I have been using sporadically for the past two years that lets you build a playlist of music that others can go listen to. My playlist isn't long, maybe 25 songs is all, but they are songs that inspire me to write. I have always plugged in headphones, added a new song and started writing while listening to my playlist.

It's been ages since I've been on that website and I am sad to report that most of my songs are now listed as 'unavailable' which means I've turned elsewhere for my musical inspiration.

A friend of mine had recommended a song for me to listen to and (as I do) I put off listening to it for a while. It might be because of why he wanted me to listen to it...

My high school sweetheart was a bit of a troubled soul. He'd had a rough childhood though when I met him in grade 8, you never would have suspected it. He was full of happy energy. We didn't really become friends until our grade 12 year when a new girl at our school ended up befriending both of us and bringing us together. He made me laugh and I found myself completely drawn to him.

We had a year-long, whirlwind, tumultuous relationship and I loved him deeply and painfully. The end came when he wanted to start experimenting with drugs and I wanted nothing to do with that kind of lifestyle. We split but stayed friends (also tumultuous and painful). I watched as he smoked pot, dropped acid, took ecstasy, drank heavily and dated a slough of other women. He got tattoos, piercings, brandings and even tried scarification in front of a live audience. He danced in a cage for money at a couple different clubs (gay and straight) and did a variety of other odd jobs.

We didn't see each other often but I was invited to his wedding. I had the flu at the time but didn't want to miss it. I think I must have fooled myself into thinking that we were truly friends. The truth probably being closer to me just being a glutton for punishment. I stayed for the ceremony and left. He was divorced within the year. We saw each other once or twice after that, the final time being a dinner out. Three of us went for dinner and he announced that he was moving to Toronto. Recognizing this as a opportunity, we hugged goodbye at the end of dinner and my friend and I watched him walk away. I never expected to hear from him, let alone see him, ever again.

Two years ago he found me on facebook. We wrote short, simple messages back and forth as a quick catch up. He was living in Australia, married and owned a tattoo shop. Two months ago he came to Vancouver to see his family and friends.

I saw him a few times while he was in town. It was an interesting experience. Emotions I weren't expecting, popped up. I didn't have any lingering feelings for him, it was more the trigger of the memories and a sadness for the passing of time. We are 20 years older than when we dated and 12 years older since the last time we saw each other. He has more tattoos, more scars, more lines on his face and more sadness behind his eyes. I never saw him without a drink or a cigarette in his hand and he very unabashedly told me about his life. I heard about his heavy drug use, his arrest, his divorce, remarriage, infidelity, money problems, business partner problems and family problems. He was dirty, stinky, unkempt and strangely carried a briefcase everywhere he went. He had a manic air about him. He moved constantly, never sitting still and his memory was full of holes. And yet, his overall attitude was positive. Life was going to keep on trucking and so was he.

While he was in town we arranged a bbq. He wanted to see some of his other friends that I am still friends with. Friends that I actually met through him when we dated. Friends that had stayed in touch with him well past the time that I had let go. One friend in particular was excited to see him and the feeling was mutual. They had been the closest in high school and through the following years had kept in touch as much as they could.

They ended up spending a fair bit of time together while he was in town and at the end of the visit my friends and I debriefed the visit. We'd all had a similar reaction to him. My friend who had spent the most time with him said to me

"Do you know Pearl Jam's song Off He Goes?"
I didn't.
"You HAVE TO listen to it. It is heartbreaking in how much it is Tim."

I listened to it this morning for the first time when my playlist on the other website came up as unavailable. Not only did it inspire this entire post but it did break my heart. It is Tim.

Here's the song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hthj9KZrgpo

Here are the lyrics

I know a man, his face seems pulled and tense
like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds
so i approach with tact
suggest that he should relax
but he's always moving much too fast
said he'll see me on the flipside
on this trip he's taken for a ride
he's been taking too much on
there he goes with his perfectly unkept clothes
there he goes...
he's yet to come back
but i've seen his picture
it doesn't look the same up on the rack
we go way back
i wonder about his insides
its like his thoughts are too big for his size
he's been taken... where, i don't know?
off he goes with his perfectly unkept hope
and there he goes...
and now i rub my eyes, for he has returned
seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned
for he still smiles...
and he's still strong
nothing's changed, but the surrounding bullshit that has grown
and now he's home
and we're laughing like we always did
my same old, same old friend
until a quarter-to-ten
i saw the strain creep in
he seems distracted and i know just what is gonna happen next
before his first step
he's off again

A whole-food lifesyle!

2011-07-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of starting up a website dedicated to a whole-food, plant-strong lifestyle. One of the pages on my website is an 'about me' page. I have been writing (in longhand) what I will put on that page but I often find that I need to see it in typed and posted form to really be able to make the edits that I need. So this is my practice space. I am going to type up my about me and post it here and then revisit and rework it.

*update - I started typing this at least an hour ago and found myself rambling on. It will definitely need some editing and tweaking but will do for a jumping off point.*

Here goes....

June 15th, 2011 will go down in history; The Vancouver Canucks lost the Stanley Cup to the Boston Bruins in game 7 of an epic playoff series; Hoodlums and hooligans rioted on the streets of Vancouver, flipping cars, setting fires and looting stores; And I ate a smokie hot dog smothered in mustard.

June 16th, 2011 was a healing and reparative day. It was a lot quieter and received far less media attention than the day before; Vancouverites came out in droves and lovingly cleaned up the mess the rioters had left behind. Part of that clean-up included messages written on the wooden boards covering the holes where shop windows had been less than 24 hours earlier; And I made the choice that day to heal and repair my own body. I decided to clean up the mess I had left behind after years of neglect and poor food choices. I made the decision to stop eating meat and to begin the process of leaning into a plant-strong lifestyle. It would be my love letter to myself.

My love letter isn't written with a pen or a keyboard. It isn't written on paper or a computer screen. It is written with beautiful, colourful, natural, whole foods. It is written on me. On my senses; my eyes, my nose, my palette, my stomach, my heart, my body, and my soul.

What I didn't expect was that this love letter to myself turned out to also be a love letter to the world. A whole-food, plant-strong lifestyle is better for the earth, better for the people and better to the animals. It is a kinder lifestyle. And one that I never thought I would choose.

I have always loved meat. I tried being a vegetarian years ago and lasted about 9 months. I missed meat and I had no idea how to actually eat healthfully. I just avoided things with faces but stuck with cheese, dairy and processed foods to make up the bulk of my diet. At the end of 9 months I was tired, lethargic and hungry for something with substance.

This time around the things that I am cutting down on in my diet are those things that are processed, refined, or made from animals. I am instead eating whole, natural and real foods - fruits, veggies, nuts, grains, beans, lentils, brown rice, tofu, almond milk.

As I write this, I just passed the 6 week mark of my new lifestyle and by and large I feel pretty fantastic. There have been some bonuses that I expected and others that I had no idea would happen. For instance, my dishes are always easy to clean - no grease! I can`t help but think of what that animal fat was doing inside my body if just the residue of it was making my dishes that greasy. Another notable and unexpected side effect is that almost immediately after I stopped eating animal products, I felt lighter and happier. I think of the suffering animals that I am no longer ingesting and it seems like there is an obvious connection. Other benefits - my skin has never looked better or felt more smooth. I`ve lost weight. Food tastes better and is more colourful and appealing to me.

I should clarify that I am not a vegan. I am allowing some flexibility in my lifestyle. It isn't plant-based, it is plant-strong. My goal these days is to have a diet of 90% plant-based proteins with an allowance of up to 10% animal-based proteins. The numbers are somewhat arbitrary since I'm not figuring out the math on everything I eat but, I find that I rarely end up dipping into the 10%. When I do it is mostly when I am out and there are absolutely no vegan options - something will have an egg cooked in it or it has butter or cheese in it. If at some point I am desperately craving a chicken wing, a piece of bacon or a bite of steak, then I will weigh my craving carefully and make a decision in the present.

So why did I do it?

Seeing the documentary Forks Over Knives and reading The China Study were pretty major catalysts for changing my behaviour. Learning that there is a protein in animal products that acts as a fertilizer for the big 3 diseases in North America (heart disease, diabetes and cancer) let alone a legion of smaller (but no less devastating) ailments was perspective altering to say the least. I am a candidate for all of the big 3 as well as some of the other diseases like macular degeneration and arthritis. If I can take control of my health, my body and my future through my diet and lifestyle then take control I must. The timing was right for me. The information clicked in my brain. I knew it to be true and I knew that I had to get on board.

Since making the switch to a whole-food, plant-strong lifestyle I have discovered new foods, new recipes, new energy and a new passion! It is my goal to continue living this great lifestyle and through my energy, excitement, and improved health, I hope to inspire others to want to look into trying it out too.

Conundrum

2011-03-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

I am having some kind of moral or existential crisis! It's almost like I have no idea how to behave. With everything that has happened around the world, I feel as though I should be focusing on the planet, and prayer, and what I can do to help or prepare in case something like this happens in Vancouver. And yet, life goes on and if I give into the fear of something happening here, I am likely to become paralyzed in that fear.

I finished work early today and headed out to Richmond Center. I have been in desperate need of a good spring coat for years now. I have winter coats and hoodies but nothing really classy or nice for a spring coat. I have been watching a lot of What Not to Wear lately and it makes me want to update my look and wardrobe with a few key pieces. I found a fantastic coat for a great price. I am thrilled and at the same time I feel somewhat shallow that that is important to me.

I know it's pointless to feel bad about it, since feeling bad never made anyone feel good. (except people who enjoy feeling bad - but if it makes them feel good then are they really feeling bad??) I want to focus on positive vibrations and on calling positive things into my life and the world.

So here is to positivity and focusing on good things for the world, for Japan, for all of humanity. And to looking good while we do it!

The downside to tweeting!

2011-02-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

Twitter has ruined my capacity for writing paragraphs. I used to be able to write perfectly good blog posts and now I find myself thinking in 'tweets' of 140 characters or less. I think that I need to committ to writing blog posts on a regular basis just so I can practice writing longer ...things. Yikes! I didn't even have a better word than 'things' to describe what I meant. Not good for someone who likes to think of herself as a writer.

Second guessing!

2011-02-27T13:32:00.001-08:00

I am second guessing my Oscar predictions. I am starting to think that The King's Speech might take the best picture win and that Hailee Steinfeld might take best Supporting Actress over Melissa Leo. And I've wavered on best original and adapted screenplay over to The King's Speech and The Social Network.

Sheesh!

Ok. I've officially changed my ballot for the two screenplays but have left them as is for best picture and supporting actress.

Committing my Oscar predictions to the interweb!

2011-02-27T13:29:00.000-08:00

Here is my official list of predictions for the 83rd Academy Awards.
The hardest one for me to finally choose was best original screenplay. I was completely torn between Inception and The Kids are All Right. And as for Best picture, it was a tough call between The Social Network and The King's Speech,but I finally had to go with my gut. I'll update tomorrow with the actual winners and see how my predictions fared.

*update - I have made two changes to my predictions. Best original screenplay from Inception to The King's Speech and Best Adapted Screenplay from 127 Hours to The Social Network

*update #2 - I am adding the winners to the list now

Best Picture
The Social Network
winner - The King's Speech

Best Actor
Colin Firth

Best Actress
Natalie Portman

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale

Best Supporting Actress
Melissa Leo

Best Director
David Fincher
winner - Tom Hooper

Best Original Screenplay
The King's Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay
The Social Network

Best Animated Movie
Toy Story 3

Best Foreign Film
Biutiful
winner - Civilization

Best Cinematography
Black Swan
winner - Inception (obviously!)

Best Editing
127 Hours
winner - The Social Network

Best Art Direction
The King's Speech
winner - Alice in Wonderland

Best Costume Design
The King's Speech
winner - Alice in WOnderland

Best Makeup
The Way Back
winner - The Wolfman (obviously!)

Best Original Score
The Social Network

Best Original Song
Toy Story 3 "We Belong Together"

Best Sound Mixing
Inception

Best Sound Editing
Toy Story 3
winner - Inception

Best Visual Effects
Inception

Best Documentary Feature
Exit Through The Gift Shop
winner - Inside Job

Best Documentary Short
Strangers No More

Best Animated Short
Day & Night
winner - The Lost Thing

Best Live Action Short
God of Love

a fresh start

2011-02-07T15:18:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my 37th birthday. I feel like I should probably feel far more mature than I do. But there I go arguing with what is again. I find myself doing this a lot lately - arguing with what is.

There's no point to it. It all is what it is and this post has very quickly gone from a post about my birthday to a post about something else entirely. This concept of accepting what is, is ancient. It isn't a new idea. I think it's probably been around since the beginning of time. It's just new to me and I am really really working on it.

There is this really fantastic section in the course (the entire course is fantastic but different parts jump out at me at different times) about accepting ourselves exactly as we are. It is in the section titled The Little Willingness and it says "The miracle of the holy instant lies in your willingness to let it be what it is. And in your willingness for this lies also your acceptance of yourself as you were meant to be".

It goes on to say that God lives within each of us and that He "did not create His dwelling place unworthy of Him".

My point in all of this is that I seem to be stretching and growing in ways that I am ready for but that are also brand new to me and a little (a lot) scary. Embarking on a relationship and opening my heart up, willing to be vulnerable and open - I'm treading on new ground and it's scary. But I am ready. I am as prepared as I can possibly be at this point. And for the past three months I just went for it.

The relationship didn't work out. I keep wanting to hold onto the details of it and why it didn't work but I can't, the details don't matter. If I can accept it for what it is and accept both he and I for who we are then I can let go and move forward. We both are exactly who we are meant to be and we will both be better matched with someone else out there.

I am sad about it though. It's still an ending and one I wasn't particularly ready for. The downhill began too soon and I held on for as long as I could because there had seemed to be potential for us. My breaking point happened in an instant and there wasn't any coming back from that. It was a moment of finally accepting that he is who he is and that it just wasn't going to work with who I am.

I am writing this post while I am feeling good. I could've written it yesterday and it would have been much less insightful and much more angry. Or I could've written it Saturday and it would have been sad. I am cycling through the typical emotions and I'm told this is normal and healthy, I still wonder how people do this as often as they do. I guess I'll find out because this has opened me up to really wanting a relationship and the only way to find one is to date.

So date I will.

The year in movies - 2010

2011-01-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

I saw 45 movies in the theatre in 2010. This doesn't include the 26 that I rented and the 17 that I watched in my film courses. That's a lot of movies and fair number of good ones to boot!

I have a top ten and my breakdown here is going to be somewhat general. I have far too much trouble committing to an ordered list but I'll get as specific as I can with the top ten without making myself crazy.

Top ten
#1 The Social Network
#2 The Fighter
#3 The Kids Are All Right
#4 127 Hours
#5 Inception
#6 The King's Speech
#7 The Town
#8 A Single Man (technically this is a 2009 movie but I saw it in Jan)
#9 Shutter Island
#10 Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Really Really good movies that didn't break into the top ten
in chronological order of when I saw them
The Young Victoria
Avatar (loved it in the theatre but over time the love waned and I have no interest in ever seeing it again - also it's technically a 2009 movie too)
A Serious Man
The Ghost Writer
Kick Ass
Date Night
Get Him to the Greek
The Other Guys
Easy A
Nowhere Boy
It's Kind of a Funny Story
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Black Swan

Good movies (also in chronological order of when I saw them)
Leap Year
Precious
2012
Law Abiding Citizen
Alice in Wonderful
Letters to Juliet
Twilight Eclipse
Eat Pray Love
The Switch
Flipped
Fair Game
Love and Other Drugs
How Do You Know

Alright movies (same order)
Step Up 3D
Burlesque
Going the Distance
Catfish

Almost terrible (no order)
Life as we Know it
Just Wright
Clash of the Titans

Fairly terrible (no order)
Sex & The City 2
Valentine's Day
Solitary Man

*Update - It has been pointed out to me that my memory might not be serving me entirely well when it comes to a couple of these movies. I received the following email today "Life as we know it - you thought it was fairly terrible? i thought we loved it! and solitary man was good? i thought we hated it!"

*Update #2 - Between A Single Man, A Serious Man and Solitary Man, I forgot which was which and rated Solitary Man far too high on the list. It actually needs to be in the fairly terrible category (which I am moving it to right now). It is definitely a contender for worst movie of the year.

1.1.11 and it's 1:11

2011-01-01T13:04:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! I have written that sentence in so many ways over the past 13 hours. I have handwritten it, texted it, facebooked it, tweeted it, blogged it...not to mention the countless times I have said it. And I'm not done yet. Over the rest of today and probably for the next week, I will write and say it many times more!

I told LDub earlier this week that I took the kindle to a coffee shop but ended up tweeting, blipping and blogging instead. We laughed and said that if 1992 me had heard me say that, she would have no idea what I was talking about.

Moving Pictures

2010-12-30T16:01:00.000-08:00

I had planned on writing about movies but I left the list that I was going to be working from at home. I have seen 45 movies in the theatre this year and yesterday I started organizing them into categories. My categories are very general as of right now. They are pretty much 'loved it', 'liked it', 'it was ok', didn't like it' and 'hated it'. All I can remember off the top of my head right now is that my 'loved it' list had 9 movies on it. I figure I need a top ten list so I am going to go see The King's Speech tonight and hopefully that will round out the ten best. If not though, I am happy to have a top nine - it's original at least.

I always think that I am going to try and see 52 movies in a year just so I can say I have averaged one a week but I always seem to fall right around 45. I don't want to see crap just to fill a quota so I let the flicks fall where they may and see what I want to see. Usually without any regrets. I think the only 2 movies I have recently regretted paying to see were The Ugly Truth and Zack and Miri make a Porno - both terrible movies!

Prepping for the Year in Review

2010-12-28T14:01:00.000-08:00

I started thinking about 'My Year in Review' this morning while I was in the shower - the shower seems to be a great thinking place for me. I had reread my YiR blog post for 2009 not too long ago and was thinking of that as a gauge for this year's YiR and I realized something fairly interesting.

2009 was a tough year but I had a long list of great things to write about too. It was a memorable year in that a lot happened both good and bad (although in hindsight is the bad ever really bad). 2010 was a lot more understated. There are big things...The Olympics, dating, school, holidays...but it still seems like less. I haven't finished compiling my list yet so I know I am missing some things. I should hopefully have the post up by the end of the week though so we'll see.

*Update - upon some reflection, I've decided that yes, sometimes the bad is actually just really bad.

Nearly didn't post this one...

2010-12-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

I am tucked away right now, in the corner of a local cozy coffee shop. I chose this particular coffee shop today because of it's location and it's coffee. I often pick where I am going to go based on the clientele - more specifically, men. I like to go where the men hang out. As a single girl for the past *cough* years, I find it's a good thing to put yourself in situations where other singles may be hanging out.

So here's the thing with that plan - I'm not a single girl anymore. Old habits are hard to break though and I find myself still thinking like a single girl. So today when trying to decide where to go and write, the first places that came to mind are the men-centric places. Not that I ever met an available, age appropriate or straight guy at any of the places I frequent. When I remembered that my goal today was to write and not scope out available men, it narrowed my choices of where to go down to two. This one won out because it's got the best atmosphere.

*I have to interrupt my own writing to let you know that I am listening to a playlist while I write and Bad Bad Leroy Brown is playing and I am slightly rocking out.

So, back to me not being a single girl. This is new. Six weeks new...well, actually almost eight weeks but he's been away for the past two so they are harder to count. Since he's been gone, my life has mostly gone back to exactly what it was before we met and so it adds to the confusion of trying to remember not to think like a single girl. Before he left, he referred to himself as my boyfriend and when I talked to him today he talked about our 'relationship' so clearly I need to break the single girl thought process.

I had thought that when I started dating that I would blog about it, share the stories with everyone. Well, it turns out I am far more private than I expected. Even as I type this, I am contemplating deleting the whole post.

The single girl lifestyle has been mostly very good to me over the years. I went back to school, moved into the city, started a new career, found my passions (writing, painting, school, movies, God, my friends, myself), I have a rich and full social life, I have great friends and am rarely ever bored or lonely (and I've been lonelier while in relationships than I ever have been as a single girl - the loneliness is far more acute when you're not alone). But the single girl lifestyle also had a ceiling and it was fast approaching.

So, I don't know that I will be blogging about my adventures in dating as I had thought I would. Maybe as I get more comfortable with it, I will write more about it. As it stands right now though, this will have to be enough.

Movies, movies, movies

2010-11-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

This has been a busy semester for me. Between work, school and a social life (not to mention a trip to Palm Springs), I've barely found the time for other things. My hobbies seem to have fallen by the wayside and the only upside is that I am having enough fun that I've barely noticed. Until this morning, when I woke up (couldn't sleep might be more like it) and felt like writing. But here I am again, in a mood to write with nothing in mind to write about.

My film class is good. I am loving watching movies and learning all about them. Plus, we've watched some pretty great flicks so far.
The Birth of a Nation
Easy Street (Charlie Chaplin)
Sherlock Jr (Buster Keaton)
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Germany)
Battleship Potemkin (Russia)
Citizen Kane (US)
Breathless (France)
Rashomon (Japan)
The Seventh Seal(Sweden)
Taxi Driver (US)

And in the next two weeks, we'll add Dead Ringers (Canada) and Pan's Labyrinth (Latin America) to the list.

As for movies in the theater, I've barely had time to get out. And to be honest, there haven't been a lot of movies coming out that I have been very excited to see. I have seen some good movies lately though. The Town (Ben Affleck) is a stand out. Nowhere Boy (the story of a pre-Beatle John Lennon) was great. It's Kind of a Funny Story was good. The Social Network was fantastic. - ok so I have seen some pretty good movies lately. I would include Fair Game on the list except that I ended up in the third row and since much of the filming is in close up with hand-held camera, I felt queasy for most of the movie, which took away from really being able to enjoy it.

Oscar season is about to begin and work and school will be winding down and so I might be seeing a lot more movies in December. Maybe I'll even beat last years record of 47 movies in 52 weeks.

History of Film

2010-09-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

So the class I'm taking is amazing! It is so completely up my alley that I almost can't stand it. Basically, I will be learning about the history of film and every week we will watch a movie and talk about it. My only assignment is to write about movies.

My first class was on Tuesday and at one point I actually felt teary I was so excited to be there. It was only mildly ridiculous that the girl sitting next to me was 19 years younger than me. Seriously, she was 17 and at one point even gave me an "oh honey" dripping with empathy at how ancient I am. Sure, it was based on the fact that in talking about music, I referenced 'mixed tapes'. But I don't think I'm the one to be felt sorry for. Mixed tapes were f*cking awesome! Kids today have no idea.

So here's what I think I am going to do, blog wise... I am going to write about all the cool things that I learn in my class. I figure anyone who is probably reading this might also have an interest in cool things and I think movies and the 'history of' is a cool topic.

First things first - here's what I learned this week.

One of the very early filmmakers was a french stage magician, Georges Milies. He was one of the first to use editing and special effects. Before him, films were 30 seconds to a minute long. Filmmakers would set up a camera and film one thing for up to a minute - feeding a baby, knocking down a wall, a dancer spinning, someone jumping into a lake. People were fascinated to see these 'moving pictures'.

Georges Milies wanted to bring spectacle to the people and so used editing to create a false reality. He has been called the 'Father of Special Effects' or the "Father of Science Fiction'. He made movies with story lines and plots and changes of location. He wasn't a savvy businessman though and didn't copyright any of his films until 1912. By then his films had been so bootlegged, copied and shown all over the world that people just stopped showing his films rather than pay him for the rights to show them.

By 1913 he had made over 500 films and was completely bankrupt. In the end, he sold his films to the French army to be melted down and made into boot heels for the soldiers.

One of his most famous films "Le Voyage Dans La Lune", made in 1902, can be viewed online. Click the title for the link. We watched it in class and it is fairly fascinating that it was made in 1902.

School

2010-09-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

I am not registered for any classes this fall and I am a little regretful. I suppose in a way it's actually not too late for me to still register, but I'm pushing it. As far as I know most classes are full. Fully full.

Ok, so I just took a time out from writing this post to do a course search and see if there was even a class that appealed to me. As I scrolled through the list of courses so many of them appealed to me. It's amazing how many courses I would love to take! I just want to keep learning.

One course stood out more than all the others and I started to really feel something; A stirring in my heart, behind my eyes, a flutter in my tummy. I decided to see when it was being offered because my work schedule this semester kind of cuts through all the days and the likelihood of it being at a time when I am also available seemed slim. I clicked on the schedule and I am completely free and clear for that time. My eyes flicked over to see how far down the wait list I would be (I've been 11th and still gotten in) and there is no wait list. The class has 14 seats available.

I believe I might be a student after all this semester!

Goodbye girl

2010-09-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

September! Not only is it September but it's September 2010. I remember thinking in March 2009 that I couldn't wait for 2009 to be over. And now 2010 is now rounding the bend to 2011. 2009 was a tough year and I am very happy to report that 2010 has been much, much better.

I feel happy today which is always a nice way to feel. The sun is shining, I am at a cool coffee shop drinking a delicious latte, I am writing, I am listening to good music (a playlist made by my favourite online dj), I am having dinner with friends tonight and I have no complaints.

*The title of this post is the name of the song I was listening to when it came time to write a title and I liked it.

No spoilers - read away!

2010-07-22T15:21:00.000-07:00

Inception.

I'd like to write more but I'm in the camp that thinks the less you know going in the better. Although, I actually believe that about most movies. I find if you know nothing, the movie unfolds and you are along for the ride. If you know anything, it sets up expectations and assumptions. Still, with the way previews are made these days, not much is left to discover once you finally get to see the full movie.

I thoroughly enjoyed Inception. It was original and well executed. I felt inspired and excited after seeing it; just for the creative process and the joy of finally having seen a good movie this year. Though, to be fair, I saw The Kids Are All Right four days earlier and when it ended, I walked out of the theatre feeling as though the long dry spell for good movies had finally been broken.

If The Kids Are All Right broke the spell, Inception flooded the dryness and satisfied my thirst! It satisfied the thirst and made me thirstier! I want more good movie-viewing! I want to feel inspired and excited.

I have hope that the second half of 2010 will be better for movies. I have heard murmurs of good things to come. Let's hope they're right.

I love a licensed cafe!

2010-06-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Two days in a row - look at me go! It's like the good ol' days of regular blogging.

Alright, alright, I won't get ahead of myself. I am currently sitting in a cafe that is also licensed and so I am drinking an ice-cold glass of white wine that was generously poured by the nice-looking young man who works here. Coffee is for mornings! Wine is for the rest of the day!

I have just come here from a different coffee shop (also licensed) but the demographic there was skewed to the older crowd (I probably fit right in - Denial isn't just a river in Egypt - that joke so doesn't work in writing). I have been trying out different coffee shops so that I don't become a permanent fixture at the one I favour the most.

I keep going back to the same coffee shop because it's close to home, has a lot of natural light and is quite busy. It's a Kitsilano hot spot and so there's a heavy rotation of interesting people. But I gotta say, right now, sitting here listening to a friend's online playlist of music (shout out to local1028!), sipping cold white wine and looking out at the trees lining Trafalgar, I am pretty content. And who could ask for more!?

This is the same cafe that I came to on my first date a few weeks ago. It's a good first date kind of place - casual, comfortable, public, licensed. It's also a good hanging-out, writing a blog post kind of place.

No complaints here!

A post for the faithful

2010-06-17T16:44:00.000-07:00

So I totally know how frustrating it can be to click on a blog that you are looking forward to reading only to be disappointed because they STILL haven't updated and it's been AGES. I'm with you people! Although many of you have probably even given up on me.

I know that Cooptown was a catalyst for a lot of people to check my blog and since Cooptown hasn't been going out on a regular basis for quite a while, I'm sure more than a few of you have stopped checking the blog too. I don't blame you.

I keep thinking I'll be better but I haven't been so far so I don't know if I even believe myself.

So here is a post for the faithful checkers (or the ones who have me on their google reader). I'll even give you something juicy for being so faithful.

I have started dating.
Yikes!

Ok, so 'started dating' might be getting ahead of myself but I did go on a couple of dates with someone and while it didn't work out, it did get me back in the game so to speak. I guess the correct way to say this is that I am open to dating and actively looking to meet someone.

The first date that I went on was about three weeks ago and I learned a valuable lesson that day - I didn't die and I had fun.

Doing something fun that doesn't kill me - I can do more of that!

Mixing it up

2010-05-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some different things this week and it has been good to break out of my normal routine and shake it up a bit.

First, I joined a yoga studio. I have an unlimited pass for the next nine weeks and my goal is to go 3 times a week.

Second, I went to the symphony again and have decided that I need to go on a regular basis. I absolutely love it. You can get rush tickets for $15 at the door. I'd pay that much to spend the same amount of time at a movie and the symphony is just as entertaining.

Third, I went to an art opening and a fundraiser for a art gallery. So far I am liking the art world. I have friends who are well connected and it helps. They can tell me which shows to go to, which events are good, and they let me tag along with them to get my feet wet. The people are fun and friendly and so far it's been a good time.

Last night at the fundraiser, we got there and almost right away we were invited upstairs into the office for a shot of tequila (this is when being with a well-connected friend comes in doubley handy). We cheersed, shot tequila and then went back down the darkly lit stairwell to the main room. When we got back to our table, my sister leaned over and said "We just did everything our parents tell us not to do...'Hi, nice to meet you. Do I want to go upstairs to a dimly lit private office and drink alcohol with you? Sure, let's go!'"

Good times.

The Reference Letter

2010-05-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

I debated on whether or not to post this and decided go for it. I have removed names of people and associations for privacy purposes. I am completely humbled by this letter and so grateful to my instructor for writing such amazing things about me.

Dear Ms. ___

It is my great pleasure to be able to write this letter in support of Ms. KT's application for the position of ______ . K took my English class (Introduction to Fiction and Composition) in the fall of 2009. I have taught hundreds of students at this level, and K stands out as being one of the most exceptional students that I have ever encountered in my ten years of teaching.

It was most certainly K's writing skills as well as her maturity, ability to handle sophisticated subject matter and complex tasks that set her apart from her peers. K wrote essays that were, essentially, superior. In fact, I used one of her essays as a model essay that I still distribute to students as a demonstration of an excellent piece of writing. Moreover, for her final research paper, K wrote one of the most interesting and original pieces I have ever read from a student; she wrote about issues specific to the ____ Community, and this piece of work was one of very few that I have seen that opened up an entire world for me about which I knew very little. With her passion, remarkable ability to organize her thoughts, and her tremendous insight, K's paper was the all-too-rare case of the student teaching the teacher.

In all of my interactions with K, it has been abundantly evident that she is extremely bright, and has a well-honed capacity to handle work in a manner that is efficient, independent and very well organized. She is certainly a very resourceful individual with a great deal of initiative and leadership. Her decision to pursue this position with her professional association is, I believe, a well-informed decision, and I feel absolutely certain that her academic background as well as her life experiences make her a unique and outstanding candidate for this job. I have absolutely no hesitations in providing K with my highest recommendation for this position; I know that she will not only succeed at, but will distinguish herself in all of her chosen pursuits.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any further information.

Sincerely,
______, M.A.

Job application

2010-05-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

I applied for a job last month and I didn't get it. In fact, nobody got it and so the job was re-posted nation-wide. I decided, despite the very kind rejection, that I would apply again. The first time I applied all I submitted was my resume. The second time I decided to write a cover letter and get a reference letter as well.

The first draft of my cover letter was terrible. I copied and pasted it from sample letters and then rewrote it in my own words. It had no flow, sounded nothing like me and was even kind of ridiculous. I had my sister proofread it and she agreed that it wasn't good. Even writing it, I felt sick of reading about myself. It was all the great buzz words and I wasn't buying it even a little. If I were really so "goal oriented" or had "exemplary resourcefulness and initiative" or really "thrived on challenge and change" wouldn't I be somewhere quite different in life.

It isn't that I am not those things - I just can't quite pack the punch that those buzz words are pulling.

I stewed over that damn cover letter and finally put it aside, sat down at my computer and wrote from the heart. I wrote a letter telling them who I am and why I thought that I would be a good fit for the job. An honest, buzz-word-free letter. I will likely get turned down a second time for the job and honestly I won't even mind if I do. But it was a great lesson in being authentic.

As for the reference letter, I had approached my English instructor from last semester to ask if she wouldn't mind writing a reference letter that spoke to my writing skills. She went so much deeper. I am humbled by her words and kindness. I had expected something more formulaic and what she wrote instead is personal, thoughtful and graciously flattering.

I had told her that my goal is to write and last semester, when the course was done, she handed me back my final assignment and said "now go be a writer".

Outside in the rain.

2010-04-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

brrrrrr!
I am sitting outside on our covered patio in the pouring rain. I adore being outside in the rain and so am in a slight state of heaven right now. The catch is that I am also cold. I don't want to go inside because it is so nice out here and the sound of the rain is making my skin happy. Cooper doesn't know what to make of me sitting out here and so he is going in circles from the chair next to me, to my lap, to the door and then back up on the chair next to me. If I weren't so cold I would stay out here for ages. I'd drink hot chocolate and read a chick lit novel and revel in the joy of being outside in the rain without getting wet.

I think I need a Snuggie!

Anthology

2010-04-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

Things are coming together. One way or another they always do. I heard a saying not too long ago that has stuck with me - "Everything is always ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end." In my times of fear and despair, that saying has been really helpful.

Life seems to be lived in a series of events. I am starting to wonder if the thing that ties it all into a grand narrative rather than a series of vignettes, is children. Is having kids the thing that weaves the novella into a novel? Or is just a novella with kids in it.

Or is it just me? Do other people feel this sense of life being lived in short stories? And do our vignettes collectively become a grand narrative that we just aren't able to see while we are living it. Like seeing the forest through the trees.

I must be having a philosophical day.

catching up

2010-04-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

This has been a busy semester for me and I am regretful that I haven't blogged more. I logged in more than a few times but never really knew what to write and ended up logging back out without writing anything.

And now here I am again, logged in and wanting to write something but without a clear idea of what to write.

The class that I took this semester was another English course - modern novel, poetry and film - and once again I loved it! I so love being a student. I'd never studied poetry in my life and this course seemed to ignite in me a 'like' of poetry. Or at least a curiosity to continue on and study it some more. I wrote my poetry exam last Thursday and think it went pretty well. We had two hours to read a poem, analyze it and write an essay. I think I wrote a good essay, I'm just hoping it's a good 'poetry' essay.

It was the film component though that I loved most of all. I adored studying film - watching movies, analyzing and discussing them. I may just take film study courses forevermore. One of the four films we watched was an Orson Welles film noir from 1949 called The Third Man. I ended up choosing it to write my term paper on and so watched it a few times and loved it. It was critically panned when it was released. Audiences didn't know what to make of it and critics thought it was terrible. In 1999 though, it was named the British Film Institute's best movie of the 20th century and is on the American Film Institute's top 100 films of 100 years. I got my term paper back last Thursday and got an A+ on it. Yay!

I should be studying right now, except I can barely call it that since what I need to do is watch a movie. Pedro Almodovar's All About My Mother. I watched it once already but was so caught up in the story that I missed a lot of the elements that I am going to have to write about on my final exam this week.

Hopefully inspiration to write continues to hit and I log on here with something to say rather than the rambling I'm doing today.
til then,
cheers!

Oscar predictions

2010-03-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

It's Oscar night tonight! And it's time for me to commit my predictions to the interweb.

Usually I spend hours researching the nominees. I watch the short films online if I can. I read up about the Foreign films if I haven't seen them. I read reviews and critic's picks. This year, I did no extra research; I have seen a lot of the movies nominated this year, (in fact I've seen all 10 movies up for best picture) but I watched them for entertainment when they came out and not as research for our Oscar competition. My competitors are my sisters and even with all my research, I usually come in third (out of three). So this year, research schmeesearch, I'm gonna wing it!

In black is who I think will win and if it's different from who I want to win then I will add that in green. (update - I am adding the winners in red if they are different than who I guessed)

Best Picture
The Hurt Locker

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges
Colin Firth

Best Actress
Sandra Bullock
Gabourey Sidibe
Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor
Christoph Waltz

Best Supporting Actress
Mo'Nique

Best Director
Katheryn Bigelow

Best Original Screenplay
The Hurt Locker
A Serious Man

Best Adapted Screenplay
Up In the Air
Precious

Best Cinematography
The Hurt Locker
Avatar

Best Editing
The Hurt Locker

Best Art Direction
Avatar

Best Costume Design
The Young Victoria

Best Makeup
Star Trek

Best Original Score
Up

Best Original Song
Crazy Heart - The Weary Kind

Best Sound Mixing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker

Best Sound Editing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker

Best Visual Effects
Avatar

Best Animated Feature
Up
Fantastic Mr. Fox

Best Foreign Language Film
El secreto de suis ojos (The Secret in Their Eyes) Argentina

Best Documentary Feature
The Cove

Best Documentary Short
Music by Prudence

Best Animated Short
Wallace and Gromit in a Matter of Loaf and Death
Logorama

Best Live Action Short
The New Tenants

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye Olympics.

2010-03-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

Whew! What a ride! I have to say that the past two weeks were some of the best of my life. I had no idea that I was going to have that much fun during the Olympics.

Universities and colleges in the lower mainland were closed for the Olympics and I have to say it was such a gift having that break. I am so grateful for those 14 days off. Before the games started, I had some pretty grand ideas of how I was going to spend my two weeks off of work and school; I was going to go to movies, visit with friends, see my grandma, maybe go away for a weekend, do homework, and maybe go to a couple of the free concerts that were going to be all over town. Oddly, that is one of the few things I didn't do - I never made it out to one free concert. And there were so many great ones: Sam Roberts, Blue Rodeo, Elliot Brood, Kathleen Edwards, Sloan - just to name a few.

I have so much to say and yet am feeling like I have no idea how to write about it. It may need more than one post. I want to write about what I did but I also want to write about the amazing swelling of pride and joy that our city experienced. I want to copy and paste a lot of other things that I have read so far that say it better than I ever could. My brother-in-law wrote a really beautiful piece on his feelings about the Olympics. I think I will ask his permission to copy it here.

Basically, I loved the Olympics! I loved having them in Vancouver. I love that Canada beat records with how many gold medals we won. I loved the excitement, joy and pride on the streets of Vancouver and that everyone mingled and talked to everyone else. This 'no-fun city' became the most fun city ever! I met so many people and something shifted in me...I wanted to meet so many people. I am one of those shy, reserved Canadians and something shook loose in me. I was out there chatting up people and engaging in conversations with just about anybody - something that I would love to continue doing. Having just spent about 15 minutes talking to the guy beside me at the coffee shop here, I think I'm proving that this is doable.

Thankfully with the Paralympics starting in 9 days we aren't just going cold turkey on the whole experience. The cauldron will be lit again for 9 days and the BC pavilion and the Mint will be open to the public until March 21st. The zip line will continue to run, hopefully with shorter lines, for the duration of the paralympics and those are just a few of the things still going on.

Alas, I am back at work and school and not as free and clear to head downtown whenever I want. But I will get out here and there and I will continue to cheer and celebrate and mingle. Even when the paralympics are over.

Go Canada!!

And away we go!

2010-02-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

The Olympics are finally here!

We are 4 days in and I am exhausted. I wanted to make sure that I took advantage of everything I have going for me during these two weeks: I live in the city, I am off work, I don't have kids. I had initially thought that I was the perfect age to enjoy everything...old enough to appreciate it, old enough to drink, old enough to pretty much do anything I want. I forgot that I am now too old to party all night long without any consequences. Not that I've tried because I am also at an age where after a full day of walking and taking in all the sites, all I want to do at 9pm is put my feet up, chillax with some mindless tv and go to bed.

I will definitely make a point of checking out the nightlife but it will be the event of my day when I do - not tagged on at the end of a long day of festivities. It's one or the other for me.

So far I have been loving being out and about. I have spent so much time walking around our fair city (and I don't use the word lightly - this has been the warmest winter Olympics ever - way to go Vancouver) and taking everything in. And there is still so much to do and see.

Highlights so far include:

seeing the torch
the 4D movie at the Ontario Pavilion
the green carpet (AstroTurf) and beers at the Saskatchewan Pavilion
talking to all the locals and tourists that we wait in lines with
seeing musicians at Granville Island, way up in the air, suspended from a crane while playing
celebrating Canada's first home gold with other proud Canadians at Atlantic Canada House
the glorious weather yesterday dispelling Vancouver's rainy reputation
seeing groups of athletes(?) from other countries walking around the city (we saw one of the Russians smoking - always surprised to see someone smoking)
the light show between English Bay and Vanier park
and hanging out with friends while doing all these things.

I just got a text about going out tonight...looks like it'll either be the Heineken House or Sloan at Atlantic Canada House (which is the backstage lounge on Granville Island - Sloan in a TINY venue = cool).

Glad I'm taking it easy today to gear up for tonight. I'm sure it'll be grand whatever we do.

Ugh!

2010-02-02T11:46:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in a computer lab at school and the guy beside me is furiously (and I mean FURIOUSLY) picking his nose. It is so unsettling that I can't concentrate on anything else. The movement of it, out of the corner of my eye, is even giving me motion sickness. He stops for a bit, types and then goes back to it. So now I am of course horrified at how filthy and disgusting the keyboard he is using is and that he could have very well been using THIS computer yesterday and now I am typing over his grimy, snotty germs.

Ugh!

I am actually covering half my face so as to block him out while I sit here. Must.Go.Wash.Hands.Now.

Short and not that sweet

2010-01-13T16:34:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here in a coffee shop/cafe/restaurant and the plan was to write, but a ton of other things took precedent and got in the way. And now I am too hungry to stay so am going to meet ST for sushi and a movie and this is all I have time to write.

I could've not written anything at all but then that would defeat the purpose of coming to said coffee shop/cafe/restaurant.

Will attempt it again tomorrow.

2009 Year in Review - concerts

2010-01-02T09:29:00.000-08:00

Over the years I have stopped going to as many live shows as I once went to. The price of tickets and the too big venues were the two main reasons why. What used to be fun and excited had become expensive and impersonal.

I only saw 6 acts in 2009 and for the most part they were great. Friendly Fires, Dragonette, Snow Patrol and Coldplay all top the list for enjoyable, energized, exciting and fun shows. Madonna was good, but our seats were far away and so it had that impersonal, I-could-be-watching-this-on-tv kind of feel. Tower of Power were fun. The sound quality wasn't great and we all had to plug our ears a various points during the show but they perform well and the audience makes up a lot of the entertainment with their enthusiastic dancing. Tower of Power is my dad's favourite band and so every once in a while he takes us to a show. Over the past 19 years I have lost count of how many times I've seen them live.

That was it for me and live acts in 2009. I think my mom even sees more live music than I do.

Year in Review - Movies

2009-12-31T15:32:00.000-08:00

I saw just a measly 47 movies in the theatre this year. I keep track of everything I see and each year I realize that I need to keep track of more and more info as I go. Last year, I just wrote down the movies I saw. This year I kept track of who I saw them with and the date. I think for 2010, I will add where I saw them and a rating. Going back at the end of the year and trying to remember how I felt about a movie I saw in January has been too hard. Although, if I can't remember how I felt about a movie then I think that kind of says something about it too.

I have done my best to order these movies from most enjoyed to least enjoyed. (I find that rating system best because I am not trying to claim these are the best and worst of the year just what I enjoyed - movie tastes are personal y'all)

Without any further ado, with scores out of 10, here is my final movie list for 2009:

10/10
It's Complicated - There wasn't a single moment of this movie that I didn't enjoy. There were some parallels to my own family and that made it relatable. I smiled and laughed through the whole movie.

9.5/10
District 9 - Aliens in Johannesburg forced to live in slum-like conditions. Fascinating, disturbing, and brilliantly filmed.
Fantastic Mr. Fox - Charming, funny, clever, cute. So much cussing fun!
(500) Days of Summer - Original, interesting, fun and you get to stare at Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel
Disney's A Christmas Carol 3D - The classic story done in stunning and beautiful 3D CGI.

9/10
Up in The Air - Original, interesting, relatable. The story of a man ready to make a connection
Zombieland - Badass zombie-killing fun. Clever and original (clearly I like clever and original)
An Education - A coming of age story about a teenage girl in London in the 60's who gets involved with a man in his 30's. Well acted, beautifully filmed.
Where the Wild Things Are - Melancholy and beautiful. So many layers to this movie,
One Week - Joshua Jackson rides a motorcycle across Canada from Toronto to Tofino looking to find meaning in his life. Beautifully Canadian and touching.
Milk
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
I'm not elaborating the above 3 because they are all 2008 Oscar nominees that I just happened to go see in 2009 and everyone already knows all about them.

8.5/10
Whip It - Roller Derby+Drew Barrymore+Ellen Page+fun+grrl power = my kind of movie
Bandslam - I didn't want to see this movie. I thought it looked like a terrible teen angst film but I went because I love movies and it's what TT wanted to see. I loved it. It had a John Hughes feel to it and I don't think we've had one of those kinds of movies at all this past decade.
This is it - Michael Jackson concert footage. Moving, spectacular and interesting.
The Blind Side - Feel good American movie. Does what it sets out to do - make you feel good.

8/10
The Hangover - ridiculous and fun.
The Proposal Hello, shirtless Ryan Reynolds, How you doin'?
I Love You, Man - Again, ridiculous and fun. And extremely quotable "Slappin' da bass"
The I Heart Revolution - Hillsong United's documentary on what just one person can do to make a difference in the world.
Doubt - Meryl Streep vs. Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Plus Amy Adams for good measure.

7.5/10
Coraline 3D - An adventurous girl finds a portal to a parallel world where everyone and everything is better...or is it!
Adventureland - Set in 1987 (always fun) A recent college grad takes a nowhere job at an amusement park and learns about the real world.
17 Again - A 35 year old man wishes he could do it over and wakes up to find he's 17. Zac Efron as the eye candy.
Funny People - Comedians, terminal diseases and friendship.
Julie & Julia - This movie would be so much higher on my list if it had only been about Julia Child.

7/10
My Life in Ruins - Nia Vardalos as a tour guide in Greece. Beautiful scenery, ridiculous love story and cheesy, stereotypical tourists. Somehow still entertaining and fun.
Star Trek - Expected to crush on Chris Pine as captain Kirk and instead fell for Zachary Quinto as Spock
Extract - Funny, quirky and kind of forgettable.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Brad Pitt ages backward...blah, blah, blah.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - Did I see this? It's on my list so clearly I did but I have no memory of it. Why do I have it as a 7 then? Who knows...moving right along.

6.5/10
Paper Heart - I wanted to love this movie. It was fine. While filming a documentary about not believing in love, Charlene Yi meets Michael Cera and just maybe starts to believe in love.
Post Grad - Cute movie about life after college. It's missing the amusement park and 80's music.
New Moon - Much improved follow up to Twilight.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - Not as terrible as you'd expect.
Terminator Salvation - Brooding and dark. Christian Bale as John Connor with Batman's voice. Anton Yelchin and Sam Worthington save the movie - Hello boys.

6/10
New in Town - Renee Zellweger is a high powered business women who moves to nowhere Minnesota in winter for work and butts heads with a very sexy Harry ConnickJr.
Confessions of a Shopaholic - Isla Fisher shops way too much.
He's Just Not That Into You - Ensemble cast talks about cliches of dating and then fall into all the predictable story lines themselves.
Duplicity - Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. Should have been better.
State of Play - Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck. Should have been better.
Love Happens - Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Should have been better.
Fame - 4 years of performing arts school crammed into an hour and 45 minutes.

5.5/10
Everybody's Fine - Everybody is NOT fine.

1.5/10
Couples Retreat - not worthy of a write up.

1/10
The Ugly Truth - terrible!

Year in Review. Part two

2009-12-30T14:51:00.000-08:00

Part two is all about elaborating the list. There are some great things on that list and I am doing them a disservice by letting them just sit there in point form all unexplained.

The Weekend to End Breast Cancer
Walking 60 kms over 2 days was only part of this experience. I trained for this event by walking. A lot! Stef and I walked nearly every day in the spring and summer and it felt amazing. I found a passion and love for walking that I never knew I had. And while we walked, we tapped into creative inspiration. We talked about writing, painting, creating, God, faith, and so much more. Each walk left me feeling inspired, exhausted, energized, excited. When the actual walk finally happened, it was so much more than I could have ever anticipated. I wrote a post about it that sums up exactly what the weekend meant to me - you can read it here.

E's day 5 transfer
I got to be present and hold the hand of my dear friend E for her day 5 embryo transfer. After too long a time of trying to conceive, this was the moment that it all boiled down to. I had no place being there and yet there I was. F was deathly ill with the flu and couldn't be there and I was called in as back up. It was an honour to be a part of that experience and I now like to pretend that the sweet, precious, adorable little girl who was born last month is somehow partly mine. E and F are going to be the best parents that little Z could ever have.

Going back to school
I had been thinking about going back to school for at least the past 4 years. And for whatever reason, it just stayed a thought and never an action. It was one moment in the summer that finally changed the thought to an action. My friend Annette was talking about the archivist at her work and somehow it triggered something in my brain to click into place. The next day I applied to school, a week later I was writing an entrance test, and 3 weeks later I was sitting in my first college class in 7 years.

Getting an A+ in English
This pretty much speaks for itself. Yay!

Getting more rooted in the course
The course is A course in Miracles. It is my spiritual belief/practice/faith/lesson. At its core, it is about forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves, forgiving others. For me, it is a guide for how I want to live my life. I took me years to find it, years to start reading it, years to understand it and this year I finally got planted in it.

Moving to a great new apartment and getting a roommate
I knew I needed to shake up my life and make some changes. I had lived alone in the same apartment for too long and was increasingly dissatisfied with my situation. Then I got a phone call from the only person I ever said I could live with asking me if I wanted to move and get a roomie. My answer was instant and a few months later, we found the perfect apartment in a great location. We've been here for 7 months now and I love it. I don't think I would ever live alone again.

Having a family that held me up and supported me
In a challenging year, my mom turned into my rock. She was solid, supportive, constant and grounded. I couldn't have gotten through this year without her.

Figuring out that Cooper LOVES fancy feast
My too skinny cat stopped eating his expensive mature cat food and in a moment of desperation I bought a can of fancy feast just to see if he'd eat it. He now eats a can a day, has packed on a couple of pounds, is no longer grossly thin and is adorably happy.

Going on a cruise
My sisters, bro-in-law and I flew down to L.A and cruised home. Food, drinks, games, food, laughs, food, watching love boat every morning while drinking coffee in bed, lounging, strolling, food, drinks...

Being healthy
I spent nearly 9 weeks being sick at the beginning of the year. It was a cold that became the flu that went back to being a cold and held on for dear life. Since then though, I have been extremely healthy and I am grateful for it.

Summer trip to Canim Lake
Friends of ours have a cabin on Canim and invited a group of us to go for a weekend in the summer. It was such a great time. Relaxing, beautiful, peaceful, fun.

Weekend getaways to Nanoose
Spending weekends hanging out with my dad, playing crib, swimming in the ocean, watching eagles, spotting deer and seals, making good dinners, watching fun tv (Head Case anyone?), it doesn't get much better than that. except for the next thing on my list...

Dad moving to Vancouver
My dad and S got a place downtown and it is really nice having my dad so close by. I have been able to see him more frequently. I love being able to hang out in Nanoose but the very best part of that is spending time with my dad so to have him closer is good.

The cute kiddies in my life
Two new kiddies joined the ranks this year. Ziya was born a few short weeks ago and Truman in May. They are two of the cutest babies I know. My cousins' kids all fall under this category too...Melody, Andrew and Katie, Daniel, John and Elizabeth. Then there is Lily and Harper...so many cuties. I love them all.

Discovering the park by my home
I have to give credit to my roommate for this one. I have lived in this hood for 8 years and I have walked past that park more time than I can count. And I had never noticed it. L found it almost immediately after moving here and we spent hours sitting in the shade of the trees during the unbearable heat wave we had this summer. We'd take books and fruit and cards and while away the summer days.

Having a subscription to entertainment weekly
It was a Christmas gift from L-Dub. The joy of receiving a new magazine in my mailbox every Friday was sometimes all I felt like I had going for me during some of the hardest times this year. EW offered escape along with its entertainment. I got another subscription this Christmas from L-Dub so the joy will continue through another year.

Seeing a lot of movies
As of this moment, I have seen 46 movies in the theatre this year. And I have plans to see another one tomorrow. I have seen some terrible movies and I have seen some great movies (that will be year in review part three). I have rented or seen on tv, 23 movies. My concentration is much better in theatres so I preferred to see most movies on the big screen where I can't check my email, get up to make a snack, answer the phone, get distracted by Cooper.

Getting a ticket to the bronze medal game
JM won tickets. This is another on of those cases where I almost have no business being the one he takes with him, yet, he is taking me with him. I am very grateful and very excited!!

good tv
glee, true blood, modern family. Just three shows I fell in love with this year. I jumped on the True Blood train a little late but oh, how I love it.

good music
lady gaga rocked the charts and my heart. I haven't heard a song I don't like and I LOVE her style and her commitment to being herself. You go girl! Yes, I just said that.

good concerts
I am actually going to a show tonight but since it's still in my future, I can't quite add it to this list yet. I saw some amazing shows this year....and I am not much of a concert goer. I think I might become one though for how much I loved the ones I did see. My review and list will be posted in Year in Review Part Four.

Getting the perfect purple purse two years after starting my search
Two years ago, I set out on a mission to find the perfect purple purse and lo and behold there were none to be found. Purple was not a colour that purses came in. I settled for a gorgeous chocolate brown purse and then tried to fill the colour void with cheap purses that never lived up to the perfect purple purse in my mind. This year, for Christmas, my mom gave me the triple p. It is buttery soft and a deep dark blackberry that shines purple when the light hits it. And I love it!

The year in review. Part one

2009-12-30T09:28:00.000-08:00

2009 was dubbed a few different things at various points throughout the year for me. Most of them not very favorable: the worst year ever, the hardest year ever, the suckiest year ever...you get the drift. I clearly remember thinking all the way back in March that I wish 2009 would just end already. Well, here we are. Three days left in the year and oh what a difference a year makes.

About a week ago, I started composing this post in my head. I knew I wanted to write a year in review type post but I also knew that I wanted to keep it uplifting. I wondered how the hell I was going to do that when it was such a terrible year. (by the way, it is worth mentioning that I have read numerous 2009 year-in-reviews by different peeps lately and 2009 seemed to be difficult for a lot of people - coincidence? I think not!)

I started think about how I could write an uplifting post about a tough year and so I grabbed a pen and paper and started making a list of the good things that happened this year, no matter how small. If it was good, it went on the list. As I thought of more and more good things, I started to realize that 2009 wasn't the worst year ever. It was a really challenging year that pushed me to change and grow in ways and places that I had been stuck. It was hard, but I came out stronger, healthier, more faith-filled, and more grounded.

So here is my list of great things that I did or that happened in 2009. I will elaborate on some of these in part two of the year in review.

The Weekend to End Breast Cancer
E's 5 day transfer
going back to school
getting an A+ in English
getting more rooted in the course (a course in miracles)
moving to a great new apt
getting a roommate
having a family that held me up and supported me
figuring out that Cooper LOVES fancy feast
going on a cruise
the women's conference
making new friends
getting a laptop so that I can write anywhere I go
finding a love and passion for walking
being healthy
summer trip to Canim lake
weekend getaways to Nanoose
dad moving to Vancouver
twitter
playing cards at the beach all summer
The cute kiddies in my life: Ziya, Truman, Lily, Harper, Lizzie
discovering the park by my new home
becoming deeply rooted in faith
winning 2 wine drives
having a subscription to entertainment weekly
seeing a lot of movies
getting a ticket to the bronze medal game
glee
true blood
lady gaga
friendly fires
snow patrol
modern family
getting the perfect purple purse 2 years after starting my search

I spent a lot of 2009 feeling anxious and stressed. I spent way too much of my energy in fear. But looking back on the year, a lot of really good things happened. I learned that worrying about the past and trying to plan the future are wastes of energy. I learned that all I ever have is now. I learned that the only way through something is through it. I learned that everything always works out exactly how it should. I learned that a healed mind does not plan. I learned that I am happier and more joyful with faith in my heart.

This year had only one bad experience worth mentioning. Losing my grandpa. I miss him more than I ever expected to. And in the wise words of Forrest Gump - "that's all I have to say about that".

In years to come, I have no idea how I will look back on 2009. And if I've learned anything, it's that it doesn't really matter. All that matters is now. And right now, everything is fine.

School

2009-12-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

So no student loan. Apparently I make too much money. The irony is that if I use the money I make to pay for school then I have nothing left over to live off of. So I make too much money but not enough money.

Ah well, it allows me to continue at a more enjoyable pace. One or two courses at a time is perfect. I have registered for an Art History class and am once again on a waitlist for an English class. I am hopeful though and have pretty quickly moved from 12th to 6th on the waitlist. I was told this week that the general rule at another college is that if you are 7 or lower on the waitlist, you will get in. So I am hoping that this is also the case for where I'm going.

As for the course I just finished, I loved it! I loved reading stories, analyzing them and then writing about them. I received 100% on the first essay I wrote and on the last day of class the instructor handed it out to all of the students (without my name on it) and told the class that this was an example of an excellent essay. We spent the next half hour studying, analyzing and critiquing my essay. It was a bizarre experience. I felt simultaneously proud and embarrassed. The instructor used words like 'fresh', 'perfect', 'unique', and 'clever'. She called the author a 'great writer' and I blushed rather furiously.

I wrote my final exam just this last Monday and am now patiently waiting for my final marks.
...oh how I hate waiting!

5 things

2009-11-23T13:02:00.000-08:00

1)I am learning to type and while frustrated at my lack of speed and accuracy, I am addicted to practicing. I only hope that means that at some point my muscle memory will kick in and my fingers will be able to find 'i', 'c', 'x' , 'b', and 'p' all on their own without me having to really think about it.

2)I have one more paper to write for my English class and then my final exam which is an in-class essay. I had no idea when I started this semester just how much I was going to enjoy being back in school. The course I took was essay writing and short prose selection. Basically we read short stories, analyzed them and then wrote critical essays about them. I loved it so much more than I expected to.

3)I am picking out my courses for next semester (jumping from one to three if I can get a student loan) and it is really fun and exciting to plan out the things I want to learn. When I got my diploma at Douglas 7 years ago, I was in a closed program. I didn't get to pick a single class to take - it was all set out for me. Now, the options are endless and exciting - English, Art History, Psychology, Sociology, Women's Studies, Religious Studies, Anthropology - it goes on and on and on. I have it narrowed down to three but I'll save disclosing them for another post.

4)I saw Where the Wild Things Are and I keep thinking about it. I am finding it to be one of those movies that has had a slow and lasting impact on me. While watching it, there were parts I absolutely LOVED. There were also parts that I felt pretty 'meh' about. Yes, it was melancholy (I think every review I have seen of WTWTA has that word in it) but it did not make me feel any real sense of nostalgia or sadness. It gets a solid 8.5/10 from me but mostly because of what meaning I gave it. If I had watched this movie at face value I think I would have enjoyed it less. My English course has gotten my brain thinking in analytical terms and it is through that perspective that Where The Wild Things Are goes from being an alright movie to a really good movie for me.

5)I have to get to class now! See ya

Dang cold.

2009-11-09T13:12:00.000-08:00

Ohhh my aching head. I have a cold. And while I am grateful that it's just a cold and not the dreaded swine flu, I am still going to complain that I feel downright crummy! I have gone downhill in the past hour to the point now, of wishing I was at home, in bed and being taken care of by my mom. She'd make me tea and toast with cinnamon-sugar cut up into perfect quarters. She'd fawn over me and make me feel important and taken care of. I may be a grown woman but whenever I get sick, I want my mommy.

Bowl of cherries, box of chocolates, lemons into lemonade...why are there so many life metaphors about food?

2009-11-02T12:15:00.001-08:00

Ok, so, life is hard. We all know that. I am having one of those days today. Yesterday was also one of those days so I am really hoping it doesn't mean that this is one of those weeks. I am a big believer that life is what you make it. You can make it good or you can make it crappy. I am a fan of making it good. But some days that feels a lot harder to do than other days. I am not giving up on today, it may turn around. If it isn't going to get better then I can work on my attitude because as Abraham Lincoln once said "most people are only as happy as they make up their minds to be".

One of the things weighing on my mind today is that I am feeling like I haven't done much with this life I've been given. I want to make a difference. I want to leave something behind. I want to effect change in this world. I want to inspire others to be the best they can be. The best way I know how to do this is to live my best life and hope that it touches and inspires others to do the same. The catch right now is that I don't feel like I am living my best life. How can I inspire others when I myself am uninspired?
I guess the sheer fact that I am writing this means that I am not uninspired...just maybe feeling blue about not doing much with my inspiration. I have ideas, but they stay ideas. I need to make them real. They aren't doing any good sitting in my head.

A smattering of subjects

2009-10-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in a computer lab and one of the computers is completely doing it's own thing. There is no one sitting in front of it and yet the cursor is moving around the screen clicking on things and pulling things up. It's very eerie.

I am going to try and ignore it while I sit here and write...

I could be doing homework but I so don't feel like it. I need to write a critical essay of a short story and interweave it with the broader topic of either feminism or post colonialism. Seriously, right? I am feeling slightly intimidated by this paper and very happy that I am only taking one class right now. My roommate is in 4 classes and feeling quite overwhelmed by all the homework.

....now the computer beside the other one is doing the same thing...it's spreading...

Speaking of spreading, just this week the Hini (I know that's not it, but calling it the heiney (hini) makes me feel better - as though I am mocking it and making it less of a big deal) - so back to what I was saying... just this week the whole hini scare started to creep into my head. I have been pretty convinced that I am not going to be affected by it. I have no intention of getting sick and am confident that I'll get through flu season unscathed. But on Monday a seed of fear somehow snuck into my brain and started to root.

I watered and nurtured the fear all Monday and Tuesday until this morning I realized that I was taking care of a weed instead of a plant and today, I ripped it out by the roots and tossed it aside. How's that for a metaphor? I am back to feeling confident that I am healthy and will stay that way. This isn't to say that I am throwing caution to the wind though, I am an avid hand washer and have gotten pretty good at not touching my face all day long. I am normally an eye toucher - I wear contacts and end up with my fingers in my eyes multiple times a day - so to have cut that back feels like a big deal.

The computers are at it again...it's like a piano that plays itself...seriously creepy.

Speaking of creepy (ahhh such seamless segues) we went on the ghost train last night at Stanley Park. L and J Dub took Lizzie and so ST and I joined them for the fun. Highlights include ST screaming twice and me getting bitten by a guinea pig. Just a nibble, nothing painful. Also a goat named Mickey growled at ST...actually growled. Funny. I love the ghost train and am sorry I missed it for so many years. I had no idea what I was missing.

Speaking of not knowing what I was missing I think it is time for lunch. I am going to eat and then get started on this pesky homework.

Speaking of pesky...

Just kidding

Grandpa

2009-10-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how to start this post. I want to write about my grandpa and I would love to do it eloquently but I'm not so sure how to do that right now. Grandpa died on October 10, 2009 and even though we were somewhat prepared, it still happened suddenly and far too quickly.

The Wednesday before he died, I was at work and had forgotten to pack a lunch for my two hour break. On my way to work, I talked to my mom, who was at my grandpa's, and she told me to come over for my break. I could eat there and get in a quick visit with mom and grandpa. It was going to be a full break - driving to grandpa's from the college, having lunch and a visit and then driving back to work in time for my next class but I decided to do it anyways.

I was able to leave my first class a bit early and the drive to grandpa's was super quick and easy. I got to spend about an hour and a half with mom and grandpa. He sat and visited with us and then helped his neighbour Mel, who had come over to grandpa's to fix something of gpa's. As I left, I kissed my grandpa and said "I'll see you soon, Grandpa. Love you." He kissed me back and said "Love you too honey." I had no idea at the time that it would be the last thing my grandpa would say to me.

The next day, Grandpa went into the hospital and right when they got him into the ambulance, grandpa slipped into semi-consciousness. He had been at home with both of his daughters and their husbands, and a couple of grandkids having a birthday dinner for one of my cousins. The last thing he would have been really aware of was family. He was surrounded by people who loved him dearly.

By the time L-Dub and I made it to the hospital that night, Grandpa was fully unconscious and being moved to palliative care. They were keeping him comfortable. For the next day and a half Grandpa was never alone. We sat around his bed, held his hand, kissed his forehead, talked to him, laughed, cried and bore witness to the last days of his life.

In the end, I held grandpa's hand as he took his final breaths and considered it an honour to be at his side as he passed into heaven. We were all there praying over him and for each other. I miss him so much more than I expected to. He was truly a great man and has left quite a hole in my heart.

Love you Grandpa. Miss you.

BE QUIET!

2009-10-14T13:20:00.001-07:00

I just logged on to a computer at work to write a tribute to my grandpa and right when I started composing something a bunch of noisy girls walked into the room and now I am completely unable to concentrate.

I am tempted to shush them or at least glare at the back of their heads in a passive aggressive attempt to let someone know how annoyed I am by them. Yes, yes, it's ridiculous, I know, but I am having a hard time today. I just feel sad. And a little angry too. I miss my grandpa and he's not coming back.

The tribute will have to come later...I have to do something mindless right now lest I throw a book at some chatty Cathy's head.

Thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. thinking peaceful loving thoughts. ahhhhhhhhhh

Where the elite meet to eat reheated meaty treats.

2009-09-27T11:02:00.000-07:00

Oh my! What a night we had last night. It wasn't wild and crazy, just a little weird. And by a little weird, I mean bizarre.

A group of us went out for drinks as a goodbye for one of our friends who is being kicked out of the country. I am not sure who picked the venue for said drinking but we ended up at Sand*bar. I had heard that it was the hot spot for the older women/younger men set. (I refuse to use the word you're all expecting from me right now) I thought I might feel a little out of place for a) not being an older woman and b) having no interest in meeting a younger guy who is out trolling for an older woman.

Well let me tell you, this description of the scene was way off. This isn't an older woman/younger man bar at all. It's a den of anything goes. The average age of woman seemed to be late 40's and there was absolutely no average age for the men - they ranged from mid-twenties to in their seventies and they were all eyes and hands. The women were not so much on the prowl as in a fishbowl with the men circling them and moving in for the kill. It was like watching the nature channel.

The women were dressed well and on display for the men who were outnumbered and a hot commodity. We saw an older (65ish) gentlemen approach a younger (48ish) woman at the bar and put his arm around her and she picked up his arm and removed it from her shoulder and shooed him away. I think she had her eye on the young (35ish) guy sitting across the bar from her and grandpa was cramping her style. I have to add that grandpa was the whitest-haired and reddest-faced man I have ever seen in my entire life. I had a slight urge to ask if he required medical care or a tube of aloe vera.

As I made my way to the dance floor to get right in the mix and have a better look and a dance (because one thing I did relate to was the music, it was so much better than what they are playing at the cool-kids clubs these days. I would rather be shaking my groove thing to Stevie Wonder, Prince, Michael Jackson and George Michael over most of anything on the top 40 right now) I was pretty much eye-groped by one older gentleman (I use the term 'gentleman' VERY loosely here) and it made me feel a little trashy. I also felt like I'd asked for it just by being there, being dressed up and by choosing to walk through the throngs to get to the dance floor. Not really the environment or the feeling I want when I go out into the world.

The dance floor almost warrants it's own post. It was like zooming right in on the action. The women were just givin'er on the dance floor and the men stood around it, watching. A few women were dancing with wild abandon, shaking and bouncing and wreaking havoc all around them. More than once, TT and I had our elbows accidentally collide with the heads of these two tiny, short woman who were only a blur to us for how much they were bouncing around. There were men dancing but too few to really comment on.

We stayed as late as we could. Us younguns were worn out by about 12:30 and the scene was in full swing. All in all it was a good night - entertaining for sure but I don't imagine I'll be going back anytime soon.

First assignment.

2009-09-26T14:30:00.001-07:00

I got my first assignment back yesterday and was very pleasantly surprised. I say surprised because I really had no idea how I was going to do. It was the first college paper I had written in more than 7 years and I thought I might be a bit rusty at it.

The assignment was to write a critical paragraph on a short story we'd read in class. Before we got our papers back, the instructor wanted to go over some grammar rules and common mistakes that students had made. She wrote the 5 most common mistakes on the board and I thought to myself "Oh God, I don't even know what 3 of those mean." A comma splice?! What the hell is a comma splice? Or a pronoun antecedent? How about an ellipses? No clue! Gulp and double gulp.

As she went over the 5 things, I realized that I knew exactly what each one of those things was. I just never knew the names for them. Even better though, was that it also turns out that not only do I know what they are but I mostly know how to use them! Whoo hoo!

She handed our papers back and mine had very few marks or comments on the front. A couple of check marks, a 'nice' written above one of my observations (yay) and a little arrow telling me to indent the 2nd line of my bibliography. And that was it. I flipped the paper over to see her additional comments and they took up a full page. My eyes jumped to the mark at the bottom and it was good. Then I read her comments.

"The area for you to continue to develop is content... I really like your discussion; however, it needs further development...you might consider exploring this with a bit more depth."

But the kicker, the part that actually got me a little teary (yes, I really got a little teary) was her first sentence to me... "This is quite well done for a first paragraph. You write well and your ideas are cohesive and your examples good."

And then at the bottom of the page, in a breakdown on how she marked us, she wrote "Writing style - strong"

Writing style - strong! Yay! I blinked my watery eyes trying to keep the tears from actually falling and silently rejoiced. Writing style - strong. I had no idea I was going to react that way. I think I had been nervous that maybe I didn't have what it was going to take to make it as a dancer. (ok sorry, it's an old Three's Company line that I couldn't resist throwing in there. From the episode where Janet wants to be a dancer and her instructor tells her how great she is so he can sleep with her and then when she turns him down he tells her that she never had what it takes to make it as a dancer. For Janet, her passion was dancing and for me it's writing.) I was worried that maybe I had no natural ability to write and writing is so what I need to be doing. To get such positive feedback meant a lot to me.

My next assignment is an in-class critical essay. I am familiar with the short story we'll be writing on and I have a pretty good idea on the topic so I am going to write a practice essay this weekend to prepare myself. When on earth did I get so grown up and responsible??

backspace

2009-09-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it feels really good to write an entire post and then hold my finger down on the backspace key and watch it go away one letter at a time.

Grandpa

2009-09-15T16:56:00.001-07:00

My grandpa isn't doing so well. He went into the hospital a month ago when he was so short of breath, he was sure he was dying. The doctors quickly suggested it could be a blood clot in his lungs and that it should be fairly easy to treat. "He could very well be back to normal pretty soon" was what they told us.

It wasn't a blood clot.

The doctors weren't sure what the problem was and had to rule out kidney failure before getting around to diagnosing congestive heart disease and prostate cancer. "It's common for older men to get prostate cancer and it's very rarely the thing that kills them" was what the doctors said to us.

Grandpa has been home from the hospital for just over a week now and he is weak, in pain and depressed. My mom and my aunt have been taking turns staying with him so that he is never alone. They are taking him to his appointments and there for all his at-home visits with the nurses and home health-care people.

ST and I went over on Saturday and stayed the night with him to give my mom a break. L-Dub came over Sunday and we all spent the day with Grandpa. He was tired, weak, in pain and depressed. He moves so slowly and is out of breath after even just the slightest activity. Even shifting in his chair to get more comfortable, wears him out.

It is so hard to see my grandpa this way. He has always been strong, self-sufficient and energetic. Yet, even in his pain and depression, he was still cracking jokes and being sweet and funny.

We just found out today that the cancer is worse than the doctors initially thought. There isn't much they are going to be able to do for him and the chances of him getting any better than he is now, are slim.

I keep reminding myself that his spirit is no different than it was a month ago, 5 years ago, 30 years ago or 80 years ago. He is still the same wonderful soul that I have always known and loved and been loved by. His body is changing and deteriorating but his soul and spirit are unchanged. I don't know how long he will live. It could be many, many months. It could be much less. I have time though. Time to spend with him, love him, and learn from him.

For the moment though, I am on my second glass of red wine and am taking an evening to just numb the pain a little bit.

If only past kt knew what present kt was getting up to on a Saturday night.

2009-09-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

I am going to church tonight. It's a bit of an event this weekend as it's the first fall service when everyone is back from summer holidays and getting back into the swing of things. There is a 'Pep Rally' theme with music, entertainment and yummy treats. It should be very fun. Friends of ours are coming along for the first time and bringing their kids to enjoy the festivities too. I think it'll be a great night.

If 19 year-old me met 35 year-old me today and asked "what are you doing tonight"? I think that 19 year-old me would keel over in shock. Oh! And then the 35 year-old me would talk a world of sense into the 19 year-old me. 35 y/o me would LOVE it and 19 y/o me would HATE it.

Ah, what a fun idea. That is the 35 year-old me talking of course. Although, I bet the 19 year-old me would be as enthusiastic to chat up the 'older' me as well. They'd both think they knew everything! Hmmm, I think I just confessed to being a know-it-all. Oops.

A whole new world!

2009-09-08T15:29:00.000-07:00

I just got home from grocery shopping and I am ridiculously happy about it. Generally speaking, groceries are not cheap in Vancouver. We have a lot of options for places to buy groceries but on average they are all pretty pricey. Until now, that is! A new place just opened up about a week ago and it is fantastically inexpensive. I may never shop S*feway again!

I feel like a whole new world just opened up to me. And it's thrilling! Here are a few of the major highlights of this new grocery store.
They carry PC brand which has the best tzatziki I've ever eaten.
They have cheap goat cheese.
The dr oetker pizza I'm addicted to is only $3. vs $7.99 at SW.
Inexpensive produce! $1.00 p/lb for grapes. Bags of spinach for $2.99
It's beside a liquor store!
Free parking.
Close to home and easy to get to.

Do other people get this excited about having a cheap grocery store option that is still reliable and mainstream? I was getting very fed up at the rising cost of foodstuffs lately and this just came at the right time. Whoo hoo!

Let the fall semester begin!

2009-09-07T11:29:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is the big day. Back to life, to school, to work, to routine, to so many different things for me. I do much better when I have routine. I like being busy and having things to do. I like working and hopefully I like school.

I am starting tomorrow morning at 8:30am. The first thing on my plate this semester is an English class that I have registered for. Well, not quite registered for actually. I am on the waitlist and keeping my fingers crossed that I'll get in. I was number 5 on the list and this morning I went up to number 4. That's a good sign!

I have loaded my schedule up this semester and still have more things I'd like to do. There is a 5 week evening course on A Course in Miracles that I think I might sign up for and an aquafit class that I may take with two of my girlfriends. Plus I still have Cooptown, blogging and my other writing projects that I am continually working on, not to mention the art projects I want to take on. So much to do!

Dream

2009-09-03T14:59:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night that DS came to visit me. He was a colleague/mentor of mine who died a couple of weeks ago. It was a sudden and shocking passing that no one was expecting or remotely prepared for. I hadn't seen him in a very long time and always knew that I would see him again. I had things that I wanted to say to him that I had been storing up and waiting to tell him. Can we say big ol' lesson learned there? I have told him since his passing and believe that he knows what was in my heart and on my mind.

Back to the dream though. He came over to my house which was the house I grew up in with my parents and sisters. My mom let him in and he was there when I came home from wherever I'd been. They were in the kitchen. My mom was preparing dinner and he was leaning against the kitchen counter.

My mom said to me "I've put the kettle on. Why don't you make the two of you some tea and then go sit and talk." The next part of the dream was almost like a dance it was so exquisitely choreographed. My mom and I sharing the space in the kitchen, her making dinner and me making tea. We worked around each other, reaching past each other and passing things between us like smiles and spoons and tea towels. I felt an overwhelming heartache of love for her and Dave was our witness. He leaned against the counter and watched us with love. We never did sit and talk, the dream ended before then but I don't think we could have said anything to top the LOVE we were surrounded by.

I am choosing to believe that Dave did come to visit me and show me the love that is surrounding me. Writing this made me cry.

Cranky McCrankerton writes a gratitude list.

2009-09-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

This post is going to be a bit of a stretch for me since I am still feeling the crankiness. My plan is to combat that by writing about good things and things that I am grateful for.

My health. I have low blood pressure, no allergies, no afflictions and am able bodied. I love to walk and live in the best location to get out and do so. I have a great apartment and a great roommate. I have a patio that is sheltered, private and the perfect size. I have a beautiful, affectionate cat who entertains me every day and showers me with love. I love going to movies and always have someone to go see them with. I have a car, I have a job, I have a family that I love and great friends. My grandma and grandpa are alive and doing well and I love them dearly and am so grateful that they have pulled through all their recent illnesses. I have a good doctor whom I trust and respect. I have a mechanic that I trust and respect. There are NO silverfish in my new apartment. I am rarely bored or lonely. I have thick hair. I have faith in God and find much peace and comfort in reading A Course in Miracles. I have cooptown, that's life and various other creative outlets that bring me joy. I love to read. I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly and relish getting it in the mail every week. My roommate leaves me cute notes and little gifts around the apartment. I have a soul-sister who loves to sit at the beach and play cards with me. I like the church I go to and feel LOVED every time Helen hugs me. I get to spend a lot of time with my mom and always feel FILLED with love and comfort when we part ways. I have realized that the people I do life with are my soul mates, each and every one of them. I like my eyes. And my nose. And my mouth. My relationship with my dad has never been better and I love him DEARLY. I can have a conversation with God and he always talks back to me. I like to drink water. (I used to hate it so I am grateful to like it now and not always feel so dehydrated). I can appreciate a good glass of wine or an ice cold beer. I am about to walk out the door to meet my lovely soul-sister for a walk/visit/lunch because that's just how I roll.

:-)

Cranky McCrankerton is wearing her cranky pants.

2009-08-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

I want to write a full post, something hearty and satisfying for you to read. But the catch for me is that I am feeling cranky and whatever I write won't be that nice or uplifting. I am sure that would probably be more entertaining to read but I'd likely regret whatever it is that I wrote.

I saw my chiropractor this morning and was looking forward to telling her how cranky I feel. I started to think about how she'll react to that and realized that she was going to tell me it has to do with some planetary thing and everyone is feeling it. Then I got annoyed that she was going to say that to me. Can't I just even have this crankiness be mine and mine alone?!

Sure enough she told me something about some planet in retrograde and that everyone is feeling impatient and triggered and that it's not just me. But then she allowed me to unleash some of my crankiness in her office and it felt quite good getting it out. She told me to write. Write it out. This is the beginning of that. The rest of it will be private.

Here is the short list of what I am cranky about right now.
Cooper is trying to sleep on my arm while I type and then biting my arm when I move too much.
My hair is ridiculous.
A very specific pair of stupid pants that I own (not the cranky ones)
My room is cluttered and messy.
A scar on my foot that is taking too long to fade.
Mosquitos.
Driving.

A moment of silence

2009-08-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

The walk

2009-08-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was the big event that I have been training and fundraising for for the past year, The Weekend to End Breast Cancer. Our team, The Monkey Sisters, raised $20 398.63 so far for the fight against women's cancers and the money is still coming in. Thank you!! The focus of the Weekend in the past has always been breast cancer, this year they changed it to all women's cancers and next year they are changing the name of the event to The Weekend to End Women's Cancers.

I still haven't figured out how to put the experience into meaningful words. 'It was amazing!' doesn't quite seem to cut it. Inspiring, uplifting, moving, hard, exhausting, worthwhile, draining, emotional. These are all applicable words but they are still just words. The Weekend is an experience like no other I've ever had. My biggest thank yous are for the crew and volunteers who supported us and cheered us on throughout the two days. When times were tough, they were positive, energized, enthusiastic and kind. They high-fived us, sang to us, danced for us, handed us drinks and food, told us we were doing great, and made us feel proud to be walking. We couldn't have done it without them.

We got so much love and support from other people too. People driving past would honk and wave. People walking past would sometimes clap or simply say 'thank you' as we went by. In residential areas people tied pink ribbons to their fence posts or doorways. They had signs out saying things like "Thank you! A 9-year survivor lives here!" or "You are walking for me, thank you." These signs always made us teary. People wrote "You can do it" and "Go walkers" in chalk on sidewalks. Families set up lemonade stands and kids handed us dixie cups of pink lemonade. A family in east van set out tables of watermelon, homemade donuts, pakoras and juice for us. When we thanked them for the food and drink they just thanked us back.

I don't think I had any idea before walking how much of an impact this weekend really had on people. I always thought of it in terms of the money that we were fundraising and how that helped people. I had no idea the walk itself would garner so many thank yous. I had thought it was was a cruel joke to make us each raise $2000 and then force us to walk 60km as our reward. The reward, it turns out, is seeing the impact that doing this event has on people and you see that by walking through the city.

Our team of 9 all crossed the finish line arm in arm with tears streaming down our faces. I am so proud of my Monkey Sisters! I can't quite believe I did it! Before the walk, I knew that I wouldn't be doing it two years in a row. I had thought that I would instead volunteer next year to help out on the crew. During the walk, when my knee was aching and my hip was throbbing and the bottom of my foot was blistered and sore, I knew still that I wouldn't be walking again next year. After the walk, I thought to myself, 'I could do this again next year'. So you never know. I may very well sign up to do this all over again in 2010. If I do, I'll be looking to recruit some new team members so start training!

Roomie life.

2009-08-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

You all forgive me, I assume, for not writing as often. I had thought that once I settled into my new apt that I would have an abundance of time and topics. But it turns out that having a roommate is fun and very entertaining. I don't spend as much time sitting at my computer, writing blog posts anymore.

In the beginning, it was like having a sleepover every night with an old friend that you hadn't seen in a while. We'd stay up late talking and catching up and getting to know each other all over again. Now that it has been two and a half months we have settled into more of a normal routine and we are living our separate lives while sharing a living space.

I apologize for the short post but I am on my way out for a coffee and stroll with my mom. And that beats sitting at a computer any day!

Walking

2009-07-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

The Weekend to End Breast Cancer is coming up in 4 weeks and I have been walking a lot lately to train for the 60k. Stef and I walked 10kms on Sunday and again on Monday and then 12kms on Tuesday. I took a break from walking yesterday to let the blisters on my feet heal. 60kms over 2 days feels pretty daunting when my feet are aching after just 32kms over 3 days.

I am so close to my fundraising goal. I just need to raise another $245 to reach my goal of $2000. If you haven't donated to my journey yet and would like to, let me know and I'll send you the link to my webpage for the walk.

Thank you to everyone who has donated to my journey, I so appreciate your generosity. I know that these are tough times and that money is tight for a lot of people. It makes your donations that much more meaningful.

This damsel in distress figured out how to save herself!

2009-06-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

Tv is working! Computer is working!
ahhhhhhh

Frustrated

2009-06-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

I am tv-less and computer-less at the moment! Talk about making for a quiet and boring night. I am using my roommate's laptop to type this blog as my computer absolutely refuses to connect to the internet. It was working fine and dandy and then it quit. The tv was also working fine and dandy and then just quit. It's either a backlash from my technology or my roommate gaslighting me. Soon I'll come home to the fridge being warm and pictures hung upside down on the walls.

I made the discovery about the tv not working just when I had settled in to watch the two hour eppy of The Bachelorette. This show is an extreme not-so-guilty pleasure and it's been a rough couple of weeks so Monday nights are a little special to me. It's a bit of a date night where I make myself a delicious dinner, pour some wine, get into my comfies and watch Jillian make terrible decisions about who to keep and who to kick off.

I came home from a long day already knowing that I wasn't going to be able to unwind with the internet since it hasn't been working for a few days now. I got everything together and at 7:59 I turned on the tv. Nada, black screen, nothing, absolutely nothing. The unbelievable frustration I felt in that moment was horrible. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch and veg out for a bit. Was that REALLY so much to ask??????

I called Stef and was out the door on my way to her place in minutes with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. Clearly turning to my comfort things and poor coping skills to help me through it.

At least watching the show with Stef is fun and adds another level of entertainment to it. Stef taped what I missed so in the end I didn't miss anything. Thanks sis!

I came home and spent 20 minutes trying to figure out what went wrong with the tv and came up with nothing. Despite what Meg thinks, I am TERRIBLE with technology. (Hi Meg! I'll talk to you soon!) My brother in law is going to come over tomorrow and see if he can figure anything out. I spent an hour on the phone with Shaw (mostly on hold) and that got me nowhere but I'll be calling them again anyway to send someone out here to help me figure it out. It's especially confusing since my roommate's wireless is still working just fine. Hence my suspicions that she is gaslighting me!

The Power Hour

2009-06-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

This week, my sister, roommate and I all decided to try having a morning 'power hour'. Since it hasn't worked out to exactly be 60 minutes for any of us, ST has now dubbed it 'Hammer Time'.

Hammer Time consists of getting up earlier than usual and spending 'an hour' doing something that feeds the soul. For each of us it's different. It ranges from any combination of the following; reading the bible, reading the course in miracles, meditating, writing, going for a walk or a run.

Days one and two were great and then life got in the way. My favourite saying this week has become "best laid plans...". Although until 10 seconds ago when I googled it, I had no idea how it ended. I just knew that it meant that you can make all the plans you want but you never know what is really going to happen. Here's the full quote, thanks to google and Robert Burns who wrote it - "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, and leave us nothing but grief and pain instead of promised joy"

Life is always going to get in the way so it's just good practice to learn how to fit this in. It might mean getting up at what up until now has seemed like an ungodly hour. Oh the irony! An ungodly hour to get up and praise God!

I haven't been consistent with incorporating Hammer Time yet but am very committed to making it a daily part of my life. The few days I did it were great. It felt good to start my day with intention and some kind of spiritual practice .

New Digs

2009-06-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

I've moved!

What a week it has been! The move happened last Sunday and it went very smoothly. I hired movers to do the bulk of the work but then also had Stef, Mom, Steve, Meg and Carl helping me out too. (Thanks guys!!!) The move itself took 4.5 hours but then the tears and stress lasted another 72 hours.

The apartment that we've moved into is a fair bit smaller than where I've moved from. I have been living on my own in a big apartment with a lot of available storage. And I used all of it. Here in our new place, the closets aren't as tall or as deep and there isn't any extra storage. Plus not as much usable living space, so less room for furniture and book shelves etc.

I downsized before the move and have had to continue getting rid of stuff on a daily basis. There isn't room for everything and I am needing to let go of a lot of stuff I had accumulated. Most of it is easy to let go of but the process itself is overwhelming. At this point though, it feels good to have purged that much more. It's just stuff and the more 'stuff' you have, the more 'stuff' you have to take care of.

The other huge transition has been going from living alone to having a roommate. It's only been 6 days but so far I love living with someone. I thought it would be a huge adjustment and take some time to get used to but it's been really good.

As I was typing that sentence, a tiny little reddish moth landed on the wall in front of me and it's wings make the perfect shape of a heart. :-)

Now that the move is over and we are settling in to our new digs, I think that I will be able to get back to some sort of regularity with posting again. And Cooptown will get back on track as well.

So much work!

2009-05-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

I have been packing and cleaning and purging. I have spent a long time on the phone changing addresses and calling for a charity to come pick up everything I have to give away. I am feeling the anxiety and stress of how much there is to do and that there is limited time to get it all done.

It is 3:06pm and I am considering stopping for the day. I wonder if I can do so without feeling the nag of it at the back of my head. I have 9 days before I move and I know I'll get it all done. It's just a matter of having to do it.

Maybe I'll pack 2 more boxes and then call it quits for today...or at least until later. I am hungry and sweaty and tired and would really love a cold beer. Too bad I don't have any!

Downsizing

2009-05-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

Long, long, long overdue post. May has been crazy busy what with apartment hunting and then going on a cruise. Now I am packing and getting ready for the move.

The apartment we are moving to is around the same size as the one I live in now except that the space is used very differently. I am moving from a one bedroom without a balcony to a two bedroom with a balcony. The communal living space is quite a bit smaller than what I have now. And I have a lot of furniture and a lot of (for lack of a better word) junk. I am doing some major down sizing and purging and it feels great. There is a level of sadness to though in the purge. Today I went through old journals and tore them up and threw them out. I read snippets here and there but it was almost too painful. Good riddance! I am also selling a whole bunch of furniture and donating piles of things to big brothers.

I am feeling a little overwhelmed by it all but once I actually start clearing things out of my apartment I know I will feel better. Right now all the things I am getting rid of are in piles around me) It makes me feel cluttered and chaotic.

Ok, I feel guilty sitting at the computer for too long when I could be packing so this will be it for now. I'll post again when I need a break or feel like I have the time.

Blossom

2009-04-27T13:41:00.001-07:00

Alright, so after a weekend of deep breathing and getting some perspective and space from the whole situation, I am doing quite well today.

It has been such a beautiful week and I am loving it. Part of what I love is that while being this sunny it is still quite cool out. And I seem to have awakened some long dormant love and passion for walking that I didn't know existed in me. In the past week, I have gone on 3 or 4 walks that hit the two hour mark. I just feel like walking all the time and while I'm walking I don't want to stop.

It's a combo of the fresh air, the sunshine and the endorphins but I think an even bigger part of it is, that while I am walking, I am having really great and inspiring conversations. Stefanie has been my walking partner and we are so like-minded on this spiritual path that we can just bounce our thoughts and ideas off of each other quite effortlessly. I have been getting more and more excited about my life and all of the things I can do with it.

I still feel the angst, nervousness and fears around moving, taxes and money but I am also figuring out my bigger picture and what I am being called to do here in the world. I am learning how to not focus on the fear and instead look at the world around me and focus on the possibilities and potential.

In the past week of our walking, Stefanie and I have seen herons, eagles, turtles, a seal, bunnies and countless cute dogs. We have seen beautiful sunsets, cherry blossoms, blooming magnolia trees, friends having bbqs and couples walking hand in hand. We have walked in the rain, in the noonday sun, in twilight and through the canopy of a forest. We have been a shoulder for each other, offering up support and compassion. We have been inspiration for each other, offering up insights and enthusiasm. We have been sounding boards for ideas and nurturers of creativity. We have broken into song and fits of giggles.

My life is changing and I am realizing that it's because I have changed. The thought of the day email for today is "You can't move forward until you let go of where you are." I always wanted to be able to move forward while still keeping one foot in the past as a back up, just in case. I think I am finally learning how to let go and step forward with both feet. I still think it's scary, but it's less scary than standing still.

There is a quote by Anais Nin that I have recently discovered and fully embraced. "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

I think this is my time to blossom!

sigh

2009-04-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to pay a lot more in taxes than I was prepared for. Had an ugly cry, drank a glass of wine (am now on my second) and am praying for peace. Peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of soul, just peace.

brrrrrrr

2009-04-23T16:47:00.001-07:00

I am so cold right now. I am in a tiny little room at a college and am freezing. I was in the same room on Monday and it was nice and toasty then so I am ill prepared for the cold. Brrrrr

I'd type more but I have to go stick my hands in my armpits for warmth. It's either that or sit on them.

The Spring has Sprung!

2009-04-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

It's writin' time!
Finally, I know.

As I mentioned in the last post, I really have become the most boring person on earth. I have had not much to write about these past few months other than being sick and gearing up to move. It's been a tough haul so far this year and the light at the end of the tunnel has gotten awfully close and awfully bright. Yay!

Things have been progressively on an upswing for a couple weeks now and it's so nice to be feeling a little more normal. I say just a little because I actually think that this whole process changed me a bit. So I am just getting used to a new normal. And I must say, I like the new normal.

Ok, so, here are some odds and ends from the past few months...
A friend turned me on to raw sweet potato. It is seriously delicious.
I have gotten mildly attached to The Mentalist on tv
I don't care who wins American Idol, although I'll be a little happy if it's either Adam Lambert or Kris Allen.
I was craving nachos like nobody's business last night...and instead ate cucumbers in vinegar.
I had a dream that I owed 86 thousand dollars in taxes.
I also had a dream that a giant spider was hanging over my head, I woke up and in a shot was out of bed and couldn't go back for nearly an hour.
ST and I are co-writing a children's book and have finished the first rough draft.
I took a road trip with my sister and cousin down to Seattle for a concert and night of Worship at a huge church in Federal Way.
These are things I do now, nights of Worship, and church. And I love it!
Joined Twitter and love that too!
Am pretty much done with facebook. I almost never check it anymore.
Uttered the phrase "I'd like to rip her arms off and strangle her with her own hands." at least once. Not very loving I know, but was in the vortex of ultimate frustration at the time.
Read the entire Twilight series in about two weeks. Wish I could read it all again for the first time.
Have seen 14 movies in the theater since January 1st.

Well, that probably gets you up to speed on where I am at these days.
Cheers,
kt

Getting a roomie

2009-04-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

I am afraid I have become the most boring person on earth! I seem to have not all that much to write about these days. Part of it is that some of the things that I would like to write about I am unable to for different reasons. Privacy being a big one. It unfortunately narrows my field of topics a fair bit.

Plus, I live a drama-free life for the most part and so my day to day lifestyle is fairly uncomplicated and easy. I imagine that this also narrows the topic pool by quite a lot. Ho hum. I love a drama-free life but it does absolutely nothing for my blogging. I will have a lot more going on soon enough with moving and adjusting to life with a roommate.

I can't even express how much I am looking forward to this change in my lifestyle. I am excited about having a new space to live in but even more so I am excited about having an inspirational friend to live with. L is on a similar path to me yet we have different ways of walking that path, which I think is a great thing. She has always been an inspiration to me and she claims I am one as well (yay!).

She called me the other day and said, 'one of the things I am most looking forward to is cooking for you'. The funny thing is, that that is one of the things that I am most looking forward to as well. Cooking for her. We will be able to take turns and have yummy delicious meals every day.

I am also looking forward to having a live in friend. I have lived alone for 10 years now. I first did it because I wanted to make sure that I could. I remember my first night alone in my apartment after leaving home and how quiet and lonely it felt. Now, I am so used to living alone that I think I might be in a bit of an 'alone' rut. I do what I want, when I want and don't have to keep anyone informed of my plans. I have no one I need to compromise with or negotiate things with. I am getting more and more set in my alone ways and this does not bode well for a single lady. I don't want to be single forever and so I think I need to learn how to live with someone, how to compromise, negotiate, fight and make up, clean up after myself and take someone else into account when I make plans for myself.

All in all I think this is going to be a great experience!

Topic-less

2009-03-31T10:04:00.000-07:00

I am having a massive case of writers block right now. I am sitting here, staring at the blank screen and the blinking cursor is totally mocking me. I mostly wrote those two sentences just to stop the cursor from taunting me. And now, of course, I have to keep writing otherwise the cursor goes back to being a silent metronome, giving my frustration a visual rhythm. Blink, blink, blink, blink.

I need a topic. I have topics in my head but none of them are jumping to the forefront and volunteering to be written about. I could talk about Twitter. I joined about 3 weeks ago and find it quite entertaining. I could talk about moving and getting a roomie. I am so excited to have a new space to decorate and live in. I could talk about the Twilight series of books (I am halfway through the 4th book and loving it) . I could talk about I Love You, Man because it was so much fun and Paul Rudd is awesome.

Those are four solid topics and yet none of them are jumping up and saying 'Pick me! Pick me!' Instead what is begging to be written about is my complete lack of being able to pick a topic. That must be some kind of paradox, my topic is not having a topic. I just typed topicless into dictionary.com and it said 'Did you mean topic-less?' so I clicked on that and it took me to another page that said 'Did you mean topless?' Hmmm not quite, but thanks for giving me something else to write about.

Ok, I just googled 'little known facts' and the first thing that came up was - A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

It's Spring! Can't you tell by the rain?

2009-03-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

Time for spring cleaning! I am feeling very inspired and excited about cleaning and purging yet again. I have a little extra motivation this time around too...I am moving! I figure it'll make it easier to purge when I can put it in the context of 'do I really want to pack this, move it, unpack it and find a new home for it in my new place?'

I am also getting a roommate and so I will have less space to house my belongings. I am moving in with a friend of mine who is coming back to Vancouver after spending years away in the British Virgin Islands and more recently Victoria. I think it is going to be a great thing for both of us. I know I certainly need to shake up my life. (I just got a visual of a Boggle game - I've been sitting with the same letters for far too long and need to shake it up and get some new letters).

The move is happening in a couple months and so I have time to really go through my stuff and figure out what it worth keeping and taking with me and what will make it's way to Big Brothers or the Developmental Disabilities Association. I have been avoiding doing any kind of purging so far but this morning I woke up and I felt inspired. It's a good feeling!

Wish us luck for finding the perfect place. I am hoping for something spacious with lots of natural light and maybe even a little slice of outside, either in the form of a deck or maybe even a yard.
I am going to visualize my ideal place and hopefully call it into existence.

I'll toast to that!

2009-03-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

Happy, healthy positive thoughts. This is what I am working on these days. Just as I was about to kick this sickness in the rear, it exploded into a head cold. Now I am stuffed up, headachy, runny-nosed and tired. I might have to throw a party when this is all over. We can dance and sing and celebrate good health. I think that is something we can all raise a glass to!

Sleep over at Grandma's.

2009-03-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

Stef and I had a sleepover at Grandma's last night. We went because her doctor and paramedics who saw her last Thursday have said that it is no longer safe for her to be alone. The upside is that we also got to spend some valuable time with her as well.

It seems she is having small strokes and there is no indication of when they will happen or how bad they will be. When she has them, she becomes confused and has symptoms that are similar to dementia.

The time we spent with her yesterday and today was precious. She was, for the most part, alert and coherent and we asked her questions all about her life and history. They were mostly stories we had heard before but it was good to hear them again, you pay so much more attention when you are aware that this could be the last time you hear it. Plus you ask different questions about the past when you realize that this could be the last time you will be able to ask those questions.

My grandma has been a blessing in my life and I love her dearly. I am sad that this process is happening and it has been hard to see her get weaker, smaller and more confused. I am very grateful for her and for my family who are all pitching in to take care of her, be with her, and support her this weekend while we figure out a long-term solution.

Books, Books, Books!!

2009-03-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have written so much about movies lately that I think I will switch over to another medium and talk about books.

I love books. Everything about them. The way they look, smell, and feel...the stories they tell, whether fiction or non-fiction. Wonderful tales of adventures, mysteries, romances, biographies, suspense, even horror. I would love to have a library in my home. With tall shelves set into the wall, full to the brim with books. I'd have the perfect comfy chair and a bay window with all the natural light in the world. I would drink tea and read all day.

I just finished reading a book that I was torn between wanting to devour in one sitting and savour for as long as I could make it last. I love books that do that for me.

My taste in books can be compared to my taste in movies. It only needs to be entertaining for me to give it a go but the better it is the more passionate I am about it. I can appreciate nearly any genre and style of writing.

As much as I love books, I love book stores. Walking into a Chapters, Book Warehouse, Coles, or any used book store sends a little satisfied thrill down my spine. I could wander for hours running my hands along spines and jackets, picking books at random based on their covers or titles. It takes enormous amounts of will power for me to walk out without buying armloads of books let alone one single piece of literary work.

I am slowly learning to only buy what I already know I love. Books are great for borrowing, loaning, sharing, so I am able to read before buying and if it is something that I would read again or would want others to read, then I buy it. Most recently, I borrowed The Shack from my mom and the day after I finished reading it, I found my own copy at a used book store, ready to be read again or loaned out to a friend.

One day I will have that library. And all of my shelves will be full of books that I am passionate about, arranged lovingly and tenderly in some wonderfully random order that only I can decipher.

I have tried to come up with a list of some of my favourite books but it's hard, I love so many and for such different reasons. I want to qualify each pick and tell you why it made the cut and then defend why others didn't. Plus I am likely forgetting some of the best and would fear that my list is incomplete and not fully representative of my favourites.

The ones that come to mind while sitting in a very small and isolated classroom (no access to my bookshelves to pick and choose my favourites) are;
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
The Shack by William P. Young
Any number of novels by Jodi Picoult
Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Cooptown by Karli Thomas :-)

ahhh books! I love them so!

Nanoose Bay

2009-03-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhh.....I love getting away and I really don't do it often enough. My sisters and I are over visiting my dad and step mom in Nanoose Bay. They have a beautiful house that overlooks the ocean and the view is spectacular. The last time I was here, this was an entirely different house. They have been renovating for two years and the changes are drastic and amazing.

We arrived around 9 o'clock last night, got the grand tour of the house and then settled in with some wine and a visit. By midnight, I was done for and had to go to bed. I made may way to the room I'd be sharing with my sisters and sussed out the best place to sleep. I crawled into the cozy bed and just as I was drifting off to sleep I could hear Stef singing her best impersonation of Jennifer Hudson as Effie in Dreamgirls.

"No, no, no no way....I'm not living without yoooouu."

I smiled and snuggled deeper into my feather bed. Moments later, I heard the familiar Dreamworks intro and then the volume jumped up to a wall rattling decibel as the bass-filled beginning of Dreamgirls started. The smile faded and I groaned and rolled over as I thought 'how long can this last?'

Two hours, turned out to be the answer. Granted, the volume went down after about 5 minutes to a lovely not-going-to-keep-me-awake level. At 2am, Lisa and Stef snuck into the room all giggles and loud whispers. Stef came over, adjusted my blankets and tucked me in.

"We watched Dreamgirls." She whispered.

"I know." I deadpanned.

She laughed. "Was it loud? Susan made dad turn it down."

"Thank you Susan!"

Thank you to both dad and Susan for having us over here. It is a beautiful, perfect getaway!

I am going to go lounge and sip coffee while looking out at the ocean and get ready for my afternoon at the spa.

Like I said at the beginning of this post....
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Jim Henson

2009-03-04T14:44:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here listening to some old Bowie from the Labyrinth soundtrack and it's making me smile. I watched this movie again recently with a friend who had loved it as much as I did growing up (possibly even more since she could recite things from it that I had long forgotten). It is still a great movie. Granted, it's dated and doesn't hold the wonder that it did when I was 12 but like any Jim Henson project, it is magical, fun and timeless in it's own way. Plus you've got David Bowie in spectacular hair and make up (hair bad, makeup good) and a stunning 15 year old Jennifer Connelly rounding out the muppet-filled cast.

I watched another Muppet Movie recently. It was a post Jim Henson one and it just wasn't the same. It had it's moments but it was missing the Jim Henson touch. He just had it, whatever 'it' is, he had it. We were so lucky to have him and the legacy of muppetry he created and left to us. I think I am due for a Jim Henson-a-thon...I am feeling very nostalgic for the original muppets and the crazy shenanigans they got into.

Stress

2009-03-03T15:11:00.001-08:00

I am learning new things about myself all the time. One of the things I have learned so far this year is that I don't like stress. Seems like that would be obvious doesn't it? Although, I think some people use stress to fuel themselves. It propels them forward, motivates them, gets them to meet deadlines and maybe even excites them a little.

Not me.

I realize now that I have designed my life to have very little stress in it. There is always some of course, it's hard to avoid but I have done very well at keeping big stressors at bay. So far 2009 has been a stressful one and I don't think it's a coincidence that I have also been sick for much of the past two months.

I am very much looking forward to peace, harmony and wellness again. I am blessed to have supportive and wise people around me in these times.

My Oscar Predictions

2009-02-22T10:40:00.000-08:00

From the moment Slumdog Millionaire was nominated, I was rooting for it to win. Then it started winning everything. At this point I am torn - I loved the movie but I kind of want something else to sweep in and upset the apple cart. I would be thrilled if either Milk or The Reader took home the statue. Ah, but then I'd think that Slumdog Millionaire got the shaft so I guess I really do want it to win.

As for the best actress category I have predicted that Kate Winslet will win but Angelina Jolie was amazing in Changeling and part of me would love for her to win. Anne Hathaway was great in Rachel Getting Married and in a different year, I think she would win but she is up against some pretty tough competition here. Meryl Streep was good but I actually think that Kate Winslet in Revolutionary Road was better and deserved a second nomination for best actress instead of Meryl Streep.

*edited to add the winners in green where I predicted wrong. This was my best year ever with 19 out of 24 but Lisa still won with 20 out of 24.

Best Picture
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor
Sean Penn

Best Actress
Kate Winslet

Best Supporting Actor
Heath Ledger

Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz

Best Director
Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Best Original Screenplay
Milk

Best Adapted Screenplay
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Cinematography
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Editing
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Art Direction
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best Costume Design
The Duchess

Best Makeup
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best Score
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Song
Jai Ho (Slumdog Millionaire)

Best Sound
The Dark Knight
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Sound Editing
The Dark Knight

Best Visual Effects
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best Animated Feature
WALL-E

Best Foreign Film
Entre les murs (The Class)
Okuribito

Best Documentary Feature
Man on Wire

Best Documentary Short
The Witness From the Balcony of Room 306
Smile Pinki

Best Animated Short Film
Presto
Maison en petits cubes, La

Best Live Action Short Film
Auf der Strecke
Spielzeugland (Toyland)

It's Oscar Day

2009-02-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the 81st Annual Academy Awards and as per our usual tradition, my sisters and I will watch them together. We fill out a ballot predicting who will win what and it makes watching that much more exciting. As I mentioned before, I have never won. And I am the one who sees the most Oscar nominated movies and I research the ones I don't see - animated short, live action short, foreign film etc. I read about them, I read reviews of them, I look at stills from them and when I can, I watch clips from them online and yet it never seems to give me a leg up over my sister, Stefanie, who picks based on the name of the film and a gut feeling about which one might win.
This year, I have seen a lot of films and I am not lifting a finger to research the ones I haven't. Well, that isn't entirely true, I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly and they had an article about the odds of who is likely to win and I used that as a guide for movies I haven't seen.

From the Oscar nom list, this is what I have seen;

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire
Rachel Getting Married
Changeling
Doubt
Tropic Thunder
The Dark Knight
Revolutionary Road
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
WALL-E
The Duchess
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Wanted
Iron Man
Presto

And because I love writing lists as much as I do I am going to also list the movies I haven't seen (not including the categories for Foreign Language, Documentary, and Short Films);

Frost/Nixon
The Visitor
Frozen River
The Wrestler
Happy-Go-Lucky
In Bruges
Australia
Defiance
Bolt
Kung Fu Panda

Next up - My Oscar pics!

Oscar party.

2009-02-17T21:50:00.000-08:00

The Oscars are coming up this weekend and I am getting excited about them. Ok, mostly what I am getting excited about is the Oscar party that my sisters and I have every year. I call it a party but usually it is just the three of us. We buy or make fantastic food and drink fun drinks and vote on who we think will win. I love having sisters and I love my sisters in particular. The Oscars just give us an excuse to hang out!

Romantic Comedies, Chick Flicks and Oscar nominees

2009-02-15T10:10:00.001-08:00

I have a movie addiction. I love movies. I love seeing them in the theatres and I don't really care where they fall on the genre spectrum. So far this year I have seen almost an even mix of critically acclaimed Oscar nods and fluffier than air romantic comedies (here on out referred to as the rom com).

While the fluffier than air rom com might not be as good as the Oscar nods they still leave me feeling good and satisfied. As long as I am entertained, I am happy. Case in point - I highly enjoyed Benjamin Button but I smiled and giggled throughout Confessions of a Shopaholic and left the theater feeling happy.

ST and I saw New In Town last week. We had low expectations of the movie having read reviews that said it was terrible and it definitely wasn't great. But afterwards ST said that she gave the movie an 8 out of 10. That's high praise in our circle, I was generously giving it a 6 out of 10. Then she qualified the 8 saying that the movie itself wasn't an 8 but how it made her feel was an 8. And there you have the mystery of the chick flick. These movies can be terrible yet we get that feeling from them. That fluttery, happy, swoony, tingly feeling.

I read a study once that compared what made that part of the brain fire in both men and women. That feeling that women get watching a great kiss in a romantic movie is the same feeling that men get when they see a good knock out punch in boxing. I wonder if how I feel when watching that punch (not good) is how men feel when watching that kiss. If so, it's no wonder the majority of men avoid chick flicks. I might love a good action movie but any fight scene causes me to turn my head and ignore the beat down.

I have a few men in my life that enjoy the occasional rom com and I love them all the more for it. Often the rom com or chick flick is also a really good movie and men are missing out on the entertainment and fun, not to mention the life lessons about what makes women tick. I have told my best single guy friend that rom coms make great research movies.

The downside to the rom com/chick flick movie is that it keeps us women trapped in the box of waiting for that dreamy, larger-than-life romance that will sweep us off our feet and change our lives. He's Just Not That Into You was the biggest perpetrator of this myth. It tells you that those stories are the exception and not the rule but then goes on to have their characters become the exceptions. Leaving you feeling swoony and good that it very well could just happen to you. That maybe, just maybe, you will be the exception too.

Catching you all up on my activities of late.

2009-02-10T09:23:00.000-08:00

I have been sick. I can't actually believe how long this illness has lasted. I am coming up on 3 weeks of being sick although I think by this Thursday I will be perfectly healthy. Right now I still have a residual cough and runny nose. My ears are a little plugged from it but otherwise I feel ok.

It was my birthday this past weekend and despite still feeling a little under the weather, I had a great time. I am a fan of the birthweek but this year it got shortened to a birthweekend. This is fine by me since I don't think I could come up with more ways and more days to celebrate my birthday this year. Although....I am going out for dinner tonight with friends as a mini bday celebration so maybe I am making it last longer than I thought. Hmmmmm, good for me!

In other news, I did book a trip. We (L-Dub, J-Dub, ST and I) are going on a cruise. It's one of the repositioning cruises from LA to Vancouver. We fly to LA and then spend 4 days and 3 fun filled nights cruising back to Vancouver. We did one of these trips from San Fransisco to Vancouver about 15 years ago and it was great fun.

My dad was big on cruises as family vacations when I was growing up so I have been very lucky to have had the opportunity to travel this way a handful of times. The food is incredible, the entertainment is great and there is always so much to do on a ship. Movies, games, karaoke, the casino, the disco, spas, boutiques, lectures and classes, sports, a library, swimming pools, pubs, lounges, bars, Broadway type shows, comedy shows, musicians, parties, restaurants - the list goes on. I am so looking forward to it!

Can't. Stop. Coughing.

2009-02-04T17:43:00.000-08:00

Sick. That's what I have been for the past week. I have had the flu and it knocked me on my ass. I haven't been that sick in ages and from what I have heard, all the cool kids are doing it. Seriously though, it seems like a lot of people are getting struck down by this particular illness.

It started last Thursday and today (Wednesday) is the first time I feel some hope that I am getting better. I feel almost well with just a really bad cough. I am hoping it doesn't last too long since this weekend coming up is a big one for me. My birthday is on Sunday and I have things planned for the whole weekend that require me to be well.

Spring vacation

2009-01-28T09:33:00.000-08:00

I am thisclose to booking a trip with my sisters and brother-in-law. We had big plans to go to Disneyland for L's birthday but the prices just weren't good enough to entice us. We found great deals to Vegas and so started to plan that trip. The day that we were going to book the vacation, something happened with my work and I lost a lot of my expected income for this semester. I put the booking on hold while figuring out if Vegas could still fit the budget (it can't) and in the next few days someone else experienced a drastic change to their financial situation and also decided they couldn't go.

Things really do happen the way they are suppose to - if we had booked a day earlier both myself and this other person would have been in a very tight spot. As it stands we have some breathing room and were able to find another trip that will fit my new budget. I should be booking it in the next day or two and then I will tell you all about it.

Happy Birthday Stef!

2009-01-27T14:24:00.000-08:00

Steffie it's your birthday.
God Bless you this day.
You gave me the gift
of a big sister
and I'm proud of you today
Steffie it's your birthday!
Happy birthday Steffie!
Steffie it's your birthday!
Happy birthday Steffie!
I wish you love and goodwill.
I wish you peace and joy.
I wish you better
than your heart desires.
and your best kiss from a boy.
Steffie it's your birthday!
Happy birthday Steffie!
Steffie it's your birthday!
Happy birthday Steffie!

Happy Birthday Stefanie! I love you!

I wish I had more to offer you

2009-01-12T10:10:00.001-08:00

I want to post something new and I am at a loss for what to write about. I will try out a stream of consciousness to see if anything comes out of the woodwork. I am longing for the days when I have a clear idea of what to write about and the inspiration to do it justice. I know I could leave it and try again later but the odds are that if I leave it now, I won't write later. I have time and I feel like writing...it's just the topic that eludes me.

Alright, here is something I learned this morning.
I learned that early typewriters had no way to put things in bold lettering or italics and so to stress things, people would write it in Latin.

Ahhh the brain of an interpreter, always full of odds and ends of information.

A battle of wills at 5:30am

2009-01-06T09:19:00.001-08:00

Getting up this morning was particularly hard. About half an hour before my alarm was supposed to go off I had a cat racing around my head and leaping over me while howling to the moon. Did you even know that cats could howl? Well they can, and it's a loud and disturbing noise.

The pattern (game) seems to be that when I ignore him for the leaping and howling he stands at the blinds (venetian and old which equals heavy and loud) and paws them until I react. It is the most grating sound since Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber making the most annoying sound on Earth. The blinds and the cat are mere feet from my head and also just out of reach. He has it down to a science.

My best counter ploy is to catch him in mid-leap over my head and force him into a cuddle. I roll on to my side with him tucked under my arm and I hold him there against me. He knows he's trapped and he isn't happy but makes no attempt to get away. Until I start to drift off to sleep again and then he slowly (very slowly) starts to manoeuvre his way out. Just when he thinks he is home free, I tighten my grip and reel him back. It is torture for him I am sure. But it is also my best revenge. Those blinds, oh my dog! So loud and obnoxious!

My plan for stopping this behaviour of his is to sleep with the blinds open high enough that he can't paw at them. The howling and leaping there is no cure for aside from locking him out of my bedroom door which I am not willing to do. It is his apartment. I just pay the rent.

A mish-mash of topics that start with the letter W.

2009-01-05T10:23:00.000-08:00

Getting up this morning seemed almost impossible. I have had a few weeks of sleeping til 9ish and today my alarm was set for 5:45. Plus this snow! Oy vey! (ok, I just looked up oy vey on dictionary.com to make sure I spelled it right and it directed me to look up Oy and the example sentence they gave was ... "It is snowing again! Oy!"- how fitting).

Seriously though, this weather can kiss my ass. Every single time it snows I am surprised. I phone someone and say "I thought we were done!" Aren't we done yet? I also have fully embraced looking up to the sky, shaking my fist and saying 'bullsh*t!" every time it starts up again. My complaining is, in part, just for the fun of it. But really I would be so happy if the roads were cleared (side streets too), sidewalks shovelled, and the giant drifts on the sides of roads had pathways shovelled through them every once in awhile. Oh, and I had an easy place to park my car. With those 4 things, it could snow til March and I'd be fine with it. I'd probably still be surprised every time it started up again and I'd probably still shake my fist in the air and say 'bullsh*t!" because it is fun to do.

In other news, I bought myself a Wii. So at least now I have something to keep me active and entertained at home while the weather outside keeps me indoors. I spent about 40 minutes last night trying out the bowling, baseball and tennis. I am excited to do the boxing and try out the Wii-Fit...hula hooping, tightrope walking and ski jumping here I come!

Movies in 2008

2009-01-03T17:58:00.000-08:00

This past year I kept a list of every new movie I saw. I had two categories; One was movies I went to see in the theater and the other was movies I rented or watched on tv. In 2008 I saw 43 movies in the theater and rented 39 movies. Of all the movies I saw in the theater only a few stand out as GREAT movies to me. The lists themselves would be rather boring to anyone but me so I am only going to write about some of them. Using nifty little categories of course.

In the GREAT category: 8.5 -10 out of 10
Sex and The City
The Dark Knight
Rachel Getting Married
Slumdog Millionaire
Vicky Cristina Barcelona

In the liked-a-lot category: 7 - 8 out of 10
P.S. I Love you
27 Dresses
Cloverfield
Walk Hard
The Darjeeling Limited
Penelope
The Bank Job
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Iron Man
Hancock
Hellboy II
Mamma Mia!
Tropic Thunder
Quantum of Solace

Movies that didn't make either of those two lists but still deserve some kind of mention are:
WALL-E - because it was really good but I pretty much forgot all about it once it was over.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno - because it was truly terrible and I almost never say that about a movie.

Those are just movies that I saw in the theater. As for the renters and saw-it-on-tv movies, the ones worth mentioning are:
X Men - not a new movie but new to me and so enjoyable
Gone Baby Gone - wow - dark and serious but amazing
Eagle vs. Shark - ridiculously quirky and right up my alley
Breakfast with Scot - sweet and charming
Charlie Bartlett - charming and quirky with a bit of a dark side
Meet Me in St. Louis - Classic musical

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-02T16:51:00.000-08:00

I am very thankful for 2008 and all of the lessons, experiences, opportunities and challenges I had. I am grateful to be entering 2009 with an open heart and an open mind.

Happy New Year to all of you! May this year be your very best so far!
xo

Grandmas and Girlfriends

2008-12-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

My sister wrote this and I love it so much that I am copying and pasting it here for all to read!

my sister and i went to visit our grandma in the hopsital where she is recovering and regaining her strength after a heart attack. as we sat chatting in front of a fireplace, grandma told us about a time when she and three of her girlfriends were seated in a food court having lunch and sharing some laughs. she said they were so engrossed in their visiting that it was as if they were the only ones in the room. a man at a nearby table said to them "you four ladies remind me of the golden girls" and grandma said that she quickly responded "yes, and i'm the sexy one."

my grandma, agnes josephine thomas, will turn 91 this january, on our shared birthday. she has macular degeneration so she can't see very well, she is hard of hearing, and she seems to get smaller every time i see her. and yet she is still strong and independent, living on her own, playing bridge with her friends several times a week, being the loving and steadfast head of our big family. her face still lights up whenever i see her and i am met with a smile and grandma's sweet familiar voice saying "there she is!" as she raises both of her arms in the air, celebrating my arrival.

during our visit yesterday, a woman came to fetch grandma for her exercise class. grandma said "no thank you, i'd rather stay here with my friends." she ended up going to the class after all, but it struck me that she referred to us, her granddaughters, as her friends. my sister and i grinned at each other, wrinkling our noses at grandma's cuteness. but last night, as i was reading about women and friendships, i realized that grandma's got it right. we are friends. she has been my lifelong friend. french braiding my hair, teaching me how to bake, letting me poke raisins into the dough to make eyes for my bread girl's face, taking me for a ride on the bus to new westminster's sally ann, serving me the very best homemade lunches, playing countless games with me (i've been blessed with two card-shark grandmas), inviting me to watch lawrence welk with her when she babysat me on saturday evenings, taking me as her date each year to the seniors' "january birthday party" at century house, making me lefse (a yummy norwegian treat - thin and crepe-like, made from potatoes, spread with butter and honey and rolled up to devour...a favourite of all of her grandkids), phoning me regularly to see how i'm doing. my grandma has been such a blessing in my life. she has shared her wisdom and shared her stories. she has instilled in me the importance of friendships, and she modelled how to cultivate rich relationships with her many sisters and many girlfriends. she has been an amazing friend to me. i am lucky to have so many wonderful women in my life. girlfriends, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, steps, aunts, cousins, monkeys, nieces, pastors, cousins' daughters, cousins' wives, extended family, sisters' friends, old friends, new friends, reconnected friends. there is nothing like it, really...having someone who knows you and your history, knows your heart, wants only the best for you.

my relationship with each of you is unique. maybe we made up dance routines together in my living room. had sleepovers and watched scary movie after scary movie. vacationed together and felt closer than if our families had actually been related. watched the fire crackle as we sang along to barbra streisand. got into teenage mischief. were roommates in university. maybe we laughed until we cried on a zillion occasions, especially the morning after a party, when everything just seems funnier. consoled each other's broken hearts. encouraged each other to feel the fear and do it anyway. invited each other. took the wheel for each other. gabbed over coffee, appies, wine, dessert. jumped on the tramp. shared our hearts. commiserated. made concoctions from everything we could find under the bathroom sink (you know who you are). pow wowed. stayed in hostels. drank and dialled. took chances. let each other vent. cried because we were sad. cried because we were happy. talked about god. skipped school and watched tv from the comfort of my parents' bed. stayed up all night. got each other through some very hard times. celebrated each other's triumphs, big and small. praised and worshipped together. held onto each other's dreams when we felt afraid or discouraged. held each other's hair back when we got sick. surprised each other. gave advice. walked and talked. maybe we grew up together. were a sounding board. had faith. gave grace. got over it. gave hugs. rocked out in the car. kept each other's secrets. borrowed each other's clothes. came up with great ideas. had spa days and weekend getaways. let each other Just Be. agonized over career choices. recorded ourselves singing. snuck out. got caught. covered for one another. shared a brain. emailed. brunched. road tripped. drafted sentences together. let each other ride our coattails sometimes (where do i sign?). made up secret codes (WDIS?). supported each other to be our best selves. believed in each other. made each other stronger. loved one another. here's some of what i read last night that got me thinking about women and friendship. it's from 'captivating: unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul' by john and stasi eldredge:"the gift of friendship among women is a treasure not to be taken lightly. women friends become the face of god to one another - the face of grace, of delight, of mercy. the capacity of a woman's heart for meaningful relationships is vast. there is no way your husband or your children can ever provide the intimacy and relational satisfaction you need. a woman must have women friends. to have a woman friend is to relax into another soul and be welcomed in all that you are and all that you are not. it is a great gift to know that you see as another sees, an immense pleasure to be understood, to enjoy easy companionship of one you can let your guard down with. when god gives a friend, he is entrusting us with the care of another's heart. it is a chance to mother and to sister, to be a life giver, to help someone else become the woman she was created to be, to walk alongside her and call her deep heart forth." thank you all for your friendship. i am truly blessed.

Christmas is over!

2008-12-27T09:18:00.000-08:00

Well, that's it. Another Christmas is over. And what I really want to write about is the snow. Actually I have a lot of catching up to do here so I might post a few times today instead of one giant post or trying to spread them out over the next few days.

Christmas for me turned out to be a three day event. We celebrated on Christmas eve with my dad, stepmom and her daughters. Christmas day we spent the morning with my mom and stepdad and then dinner is my grandpa's. This year we've added in a boxing day morning tradition with my sisters and I together at my mom's. It snowed ALL day and so boxing day morning went until 11pm for Stef, mom and I. We hung around mom's all morning and afternoon and then went for a walk in the snowy/rainy evening and watched a movie together back at my mom's place. It was a lovely day.

I still have nowhere to park my car. This snow has made it impossible to get into the alley behind my building and even if I could there isn't any way to pull into my actual parking spot. I parked my car overnight at Safeway on Christmas eve and since then I have left my car down on Cornwall in front of my mom's. It has actually worked out well because mom and Steve's car got broken into on Christmas eve and so they have been able to use my car when they need to.

I took some pictures last night to document the craziness of this snow. We kept thinking it had to stop and then it just kept snowing. I will post a pic here for posterity.

Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow.

2008-12-18T13:18:00.000-08:00

Oh the weather outside is frightful.....and I kind of love it.
I know it is cold and a pain and hard to get around in but it is also silent and beautiful and oh so fluffy. I can't remember it ever being cold enough in Vancouver to get snow this light and fluffy. I cleaned off my car this morning and was fascinated by how weightless the snow was. It really is like powder. We don't ordinarily get that kind of snow around here. Usually we have the heavy wet snow that turns into slush the moment it hits the ground. I am liking this powdery, light, fluffy snow.

In other news, I have a cold. Nothing too bad, mind you. A bit of a runny nose, the occasional sneeze and a once in a while dry cough. I don't expect it to get much worse than this and so it won't really slow me down this season. Not that there is anything keeping me going to quickly either. I am nearly done my Christmas shopping and am planning to do some baking next week. I have cleaned and decorated my apartment. I have even already wrapped the presents that I bought and have them under my little lime-green, tinsel tree. My tradition for wrapping presents has been to do them all on Christmas eve quite late at night while watching some totally-unrelated-to-Christmas movie on tv. Last year it was Eyes Wide Shut. Two years ago - A Clockwork Orange. Clearly some television programmer has a Christmas-Kubrick thing going on. This year I will be spared from watching Full Metal Jacket since my wrapping will all be finished early.

Some good news to round out my post is that my Grandma is being sent home today. She has been in an acute care facility for a couple of weeks now, since leaving the hospital and today she goes home. It is a joy to know that she will be back in her own environment for Christmas and the week leading up to it.

Busy December

2008-12-12T16:35:00.000-08:00

Life has been busy and I haven't had enough downtime to sit and write. I have been crafting for Christmas and running around getting things done. Plus there is also all of the fun things I've been doing. I have gone to see It's a Wonderful Life at the Arts Club theater, decorated our Christmas tree, had festive dinners out, strolled 4th, window shopped, and really shopped. I have had a Dr. appointment, a dentist appointment, a chiro appointment, gotten my oil changed, new tires put on my car and gone out for my first experience of Vietnamese food. Phnom Penh - yum! The chicken wings are to die for! Deep fried with salt, pepper and garlic and a lemon (or lime) pepper sauce for dipping, mmm mmmmm. I found a pic of them online here... Phnom Penh chicken wings

This weekend there is a goodbye gathering for my monkey sister tonight, tree decorating at my sister's tomorrow, a bar mitzvah and a concert on Sunday.

Whew!

A list for no reason (ok, because I love to write lists)

2008-12-02T10:25:00.000-08:00

clean fresh sheets
rooibos tea
eucalyptus epsom salts
Cooper's paws
a good hair day
scarves
70% dark chocolate
music
red wine
faith
any shade of green
fat, fluffy snow flakes

Just for a cleaning, but still!

2008-12-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and I don't want to go!

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

2008-12-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

I watched Dirty Dancing this weekend, on purpose.
Twice!

I have seen this movie countless times. Pretty much any time it is on tv, I get sucked in and watch it. On Saturday afternoon, I put the dvd in my player and actually sat down and watched the movie from beginning to end. I paused it if my phone rang or for any other interruptions and watched it with purpose. I enjoyed it so much, that Sunday afternoon, I watched it again.

I have always loved Dirty Dancing but this time, I saw it a little differently. I found a new appreciation for it. Not only is it entertaining and fun (which is how I have always thought of it) but it is actually a really, really GOOD movie. The story is so much richer than I ever gave it credit for. The characters are well developed and you believe that they are really those people. It is beautifully filmed, interesting and clever. The music, for the most part, is perfect. Although I did scoff mildly at She's Like the Wind, it just doesn't fit the rest of the soundtrack.

I remember the first time I saw Dirty Dancing. I was 13 years old and with my mom on a mother/daughter date night. We had gone for dinner first and then to see Dirty Dancing. I wanted to be Baby. I wanted to go to the Catskills and meet my very own Johnny Castle and learn how to dance and do lifts in the water.

Does every girl love this movie as much as I do?

I'm like a worker bee. I want to be the Queen!

2008-11-27T09:30:00.001-08:00

Busy, busy, busy, busy! This has been my life for the past couple of weeks and the last 7 days in particular. My only down time isn't even my own. It is while I am in class every morning. I get a chance to read through the prep but I have to be alert and ready at any given moment to jump up and interpret so I can't ever really just settle in while I'm here.

When I am not at work, I am driving to my next job or to the hospital to visit my grandma. Then I have to go to the bank, the grocery store, the dentist, the chiropractor. I have had some fun times in the past week too, Hairspray last Friday and dancing on Saturday and a matinee on Sunday. The problem there is that I stretched myself too thin. I didn't give myself any me time and so by Tuesday, I felt completely burnt out.

I hate turning down fun plans. I like to go out and be social but I have realized how badly I need to have alone time to recharge and refuel. I turned down plans for last night to just stay in and be alone. But I was at work until 6:30 and then had to drive home and stop to get groceries. When all was all said and done, it was 7:30 before I walked in the door. Not really what I mean by me time.

Just a day. I want just a day. A day to be a Queen Bee! A day with nothing planned. A day with nowhere to be. A day with nothing to do. A day where I don't have to drive anywhere. A day where I can sleep in, stay in my pjs for too long, have soup and crackers for lunch, watch a movie from the couch, cuddle with Cooper, go for a walk, have a delicious latte or tea, and feel completely recharged!

Grandma update

2008-11-26T09:43:00.001-08:00

I am learning that getting better when you are almost 91 doesn't mean the same thing as it does for younger people. Grandma is in and out and I am not sure what it going to happen. I spent just over 3 hours with her at the hospital yesterday and mostly we just sat together.

She is on the transfer list to be moved out of the acute cardiac care unit since her heart is no longer a problem. She will be moving to another medical unit and hopefully she will get the right kind of care.

Grandma is getting better

2008-11-24T09:39:00.000-08:00

Well, good news! My grandma is getting better. It was a tough weekend and on Saturday it was downright scary. But Sunday she turned a corner and things are looking up. They aren't just looking up they are up.

Thank you for your kind emails and messages. It was nice having people reach out to us in tough times.