Grandmas and Girlfriends

My sister wrote this and I love it so much that I am copying and pasting it here for all to read!


my sister and i went to visit our grandma in the hopsital where she is recovering and regaining her strength after a heart attack. as we sat chatting in front of a fireplace, grandma told us about a time when she and three of her girlfriends were seated in a food court having lunch and sharing some laughs. she said they were so engrossed in their visiting that it was as if they were the only ones in the room. a man at a nearby table said to them "you four ladies remind me of the golden girls" and grandma said that she quickly responded "yes, and i'm the sexy one."

my grandma, agnes josephine thomas, will turn 91 this january, on our shared birthday. she has macular degeneration so she can't see very well, she is hard of hearing, and she seems to get smaller every time i see her. and yet she is still strong and independent, living on her own, playing bridge with her friends several times a week, being the loving and steadfast head of our big family. her face still lights up whenever i see her and i am met with a smile and grandma's sweet familiar voice saying "there she is!" as she raises both of her arms in the air, celebrating my arrival.

during our visit yesterday, a woman came to fetch grandma for her exercise class. grandma said "no thank you, i'd rather stay here with my friends." she ended up going to the class after all, but it struck me that she referred to us, her granddaughters, as her friends. my sister and i grinned at each other, wrinkling our noses at grandma's cuteness. but last night, as i was reading about women and friendships, i realized that grandma's got it right. we are friends. she has been my lifelong friend. french braiding my hair, teaching me how to bake, letting me poke raisins into the dough to make eyes for my bread girl's face, taking me for a ride on the bus to new westminster's sally ann, serving me the very best homemade lunches, playing countless games with me (i've been blessed with two card-shark grandmas), inviting me to watch lawrence welk with her when she babysat me on saturday evenings, taking me as her date each year to the seniors' "january birthday party" at century house, making me lefse (a yummy norwegian treat - thin and crepe-like, made from potatoes, spread with butter and honey and rolled up to devour...a favourite of all of her grandkids), phoning me regularly to see how i'm doing. my grandma has been such a blessing in my life. she has shared her wisdom and shared her stories. she has instilled in me the importance of friendships, and she modelled how to cultivate rich relationships with her many sisters and many girlfriends. she has been an amazing friend to me. i am lucky to have so many wonderful women in my life. girlfriends, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, steps, aunts, cousins, monkeys, nieces, pastors, cousins' daughters, cousins' wives, extended family, sisters' friends, old friends, new friends, reconnected friends. there is nothing like it, really...having someone who knows you and your history, knows your heart, wants only the best for you.

my relationship with each of you is unique. maybe we made up dance routines together in my living room. had sleepovers and watched scary movie after scary movie. vacationed together and felt closer than if our families had actually been related. watched the fire crackle as we sang along to barbra streisand. got into teenage mischief. were roommates in university. maybe we laughed until we cried on a zillion occasions, especially the morning after a party, when everything just seems funnier. consoled each other's broken hearts. encouraged each other to feel the fear and do it anyway. invited each other. took the wheel for each other. gabbed over coffee, appies, wine, dessert. jumped on the tramp. shared our hearts. commiserated. made concoctions from everything we could find under the bathroom sink (you know who you are). pow wowed. stayed in hostels. drank and dialled. took chances. let each other vent. cried because we were sad. cried because we were happy. talked about god. skipped school and watched tv from the comfort of my parents' bed. stayed up all night. got each other through some very hard times. celebrated each other's triumphs, big and small. praised and worshipped together. held onto each other's dreams when we felt afraid or discouraged. held each other's hair back when we got sick. surprised each other. gave advice. walked and talked. maybe we grew up together. were a sounding board. had faith. gave grace. got over it. gave hugs. rocked out in the car. kept each other's secrets. borrowed each other's clothes. came up with great ideas. had spa days and weekend getaways. let each other Just Be. agonized over career choices. recorded ourselves singing. snuck out. got caught. covered for one another. shared a brain. emailed. brunched. road tripped. drafted sentences together. let each other ride our coattails sometimes (where do i sign?). made up secret codes (WDIS?). supported each other to be our best selves. believed in each other. made each other stronger. loved one another. here's some of what i read last night that got me thinking about women and friendship. it's from 'captivating: unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul' by john and stasi eldredge:"the gift of friendship among women is a treasure not to be taken lightly. women friends become the face of god to one another - the face of grace, of delight, of mercy. the capacity of a woman's heart for meaningful relationships is vast. there is no way your husband or your children can ever provide the intimacy and relational satisfaction you need. a woman must have women friends. to have a woman friend is to relax into another soul and be welcomed in all that you are and all that you are not. it is a great gift to know that you see as another sees, an immense pleasure to be understood, to enjoy easy companionship of one you can let your guard down with. when god gives a friend, he is entrusting us with the care of another's heart. it is a chance to mother and to sister, to be a life giver, to help someone else become the woman she was created to be, to walk alongside her and call her deep heart forth." thank you all for your friendship. i am truly blessed.