This is my 100th post !!!

Yay, Happy 100th to me!!!

and now back to our regularly scheduled posting....

I had a realization last week that I think my jaw has been clenched for 33 years. Really, I think my natural state has become having my jaw tightly clenched.

When I was in counselling and we would do EMDR, every single session after starting treatment I would say 'My jaw is clenched' or 'my jaw aches'. Outside of EMDR, I think I just didn't notice it. It was a habit, I wasn't even aware of.

Last Friday I was over at my mom's, drinking tea and visiting. I was feeling some pretty serious to mid-level anxiety about life and my jaw was aching more than usual. (I really don't seem to notice pain, I think I'm too used to it). I was telling my mom about my theory of keeping my jaw so tightly clenched that it now felt more normal to have it tight than not. Even if my teeth aren't together, my jaw is still tight. I was trying to go slack jawed and could see that it felt nice albeit awkward. I said to my mom that I need to somehow become more aware of it and practice being relax-jawed and make that my habit.

Well, of course I completely forgot and spent much of my weekend clenched and tight with the occasional 'oh yeah, relaxxxx' reminder running through my brain.

Last week, as you know, I was studing the Success Principle about becoming an Inverse Paranoid. Believe that the world is conspiring to do you well. I loved this from the get go. Why not believe that the world is plotting to make you happy. I could do this.

Then yesterday, I developed a terrible toothache. I already had a dentist appointment lined up for next week but this is the kind of toothache that maybe can't wait that long. It breaks through even my pain threshold. I could see the plus sides right from the first twinge of pain.
How great that I already had an appointment with my dentist.
How great that I have financial help to pay for my dental.
How great that all the new dental techniques are relatively pain free.
How great that I really like and trust my new dentist.

There was one plus side that I didn't anticipate though and it ended up being the best gift of all.

The pain in my tooth is ten times worse if I clench my jaw. In the past 36 hours I have had amazing amounts of practice in relaxing my jaw with instant reminders if I forget. I see this toothache as a well-timed gift. The world is plotting to make me happy and comfortable.

It's so nice of the world to be conspiring for me like that!