Saturday, 24 February 2007


This website is a really great charity site where you get to make a shirt and wear your beliefs. The shirts say believe on the front and then on the back you write whatever your belief is. There is a page on the site, of beliefs that people have had put on shirts...some are funny, some are serious...there's a pretty huge range of statements from "I believe my mother screens my calls" to "I believe in me" or "I believe he dumped me for her...and karma's a bitch" and "I believe that it is our light and not our darkness that scares us the most"

I love the idea of having your belief printed on a shirt for the world to see. I had one made for myself and one made for ST for her birthday. Mine says "i believe i will find true love" and st's says "i believe in love, i believe in miracles"

Now the second great part of this website is that you get to pick a charity and part of the proceeds of your purchase go to that charity. For an extra $7 you can have the name of the charity printed on the sleeve of your shirt so that you can, again, wear your beliefs.

If a shirt isn't your thing then you can also get pillowcases with your belief printed on them. JM's witty suggestion for this was "I believe my head goes here." I am going to email mondonation and let them know that if they start offering hoodies or yoga jackets that I'll probably buy dozens of them.

So please check out the site. Buy a shirt and show the world what you believe in!


I lost. JM knocked me out by going all in without even looking at his cards. I figured mine were good enough to go up against someone who hadn't even looked. I was wrong.

Friday, 23 February 2007

I am going to win!

I am hosting a poker party tonight at my place. There will be 7 of us playing and I am visualizing myself as the big winner. I have a mental image of me with my arms reached out pulling a big pile of chips toward myself with a smile on my face. Hopefully by visualizing this and writing it out for the world to see, it will come true and I will be the big winner tonight.

Thursday, 15 February 2007

I'm an artist

I have been feeling really inspired lately to be doing something creative and artsy. I feel like I want to constantly be creating things. Paintings, drawings, writing, photographs...all of it. My hands are itching to create. This blog helps. It counts to me as doing something creative.

My weekend coming up is free and clear of plans right now and I'm thinking that I will book some time for creation. I am going to take a camera out and wander the streets taking pictures of anything and everything that catches my eye. I am going to paint and draw and write. I am going to embrace myself as an artist (a title I always fought because I didn't think I deserved it) and wear a beret and a smock. Ok just kidding - no beret or smock for me.

I only started indulging my creative fantasies about 5 years ago. I had tried off and on for years to paint or draw but felt frustrated at my extreme lack of being able to make anything look like what I wanted it to look like. I couldn't take the image out of my head and put it on canvas or paper. It never came out how I wanted it to. I had decided that I had no talent and no business trying to be an artist.

One day my hands actually ached to paint. They felt stiff and jittery like they were all hopped up on caffeine. They needed to be doing something artsy. I ignored the feeling for as long as I could and then gave in to it. I found an art store and went shopping. I didn't know what I wanted so I wandered and browsed and spent an hour just taking everything in. I picked things up, looked them over, felt them, smelled them turned them over and over in my hands. I was allowing myself to get comfortable with canvases, paint, brushes, pencils, oils, acrylics. It was exciting to be around all these supplies and to be opening my mind up to the possibility that I could do this.

I left the store with a few tiny canvases (anything bigger than 4x4 seemed big and intimidating), a few small tubes of paint (oil) and a couple of paint brushes. When I got home I put everything out on the table. I opened the tubes of paint and smelled them. I unwrapped the canvases and felt the rough surfaces. I played with the paint brushes, twirling them against the back of my hand, the inside of my wrist, my cheek, my lips. I got comfortable with having these supplies in my home, in my hands, ready to be used.

I gave up on trying to take an image from my head. I just put colour to canvas and let my hands go. My hands were what ached to paint so I let them do the work. I did swirls and waves, circles and lines, swooshes and loops. It was exhilarating to finally be doing something. Once I embraced my own abilities instead of focusing on my lack of abilities I found freedom.

It's been 5 years and my walls are covered with paintings that I have done. The biggest canvas that I have worked on is about 4 feet by 4 feet and it's one of my favourite pieces. It was commissioned by good friends of mine who have it hanging in their living room in Calgary.

I am so happy that my body knew I needed to paint and that it completely ignored my head that reasoned I could never do it. I found my own talent and I am an artist.

Monday, 12 February 2007

Karaoke fun

So this weekend was the karaoke party. We had a blast. I was up until 5:30am singing my heart out. I have no highlight of the night because the entire night was fun. I absolutely loved looking around and seeing such a great group of people all participating in something fun...singing, poker, good convos..whatever. A couple moments though that are worthy of mention ...
Dr. DS's air guitar
P&N showing up was an awesome surprise
The Eulogy - thanks JM
Too many good songs by people to mention
A drunken late night email to CG who walked in on us sending it

I said to st today that next time I drink I need to write on my hand before cracking the first bottle "Do not attempt serious conversations" ST's reply to that was "yeah but you'd look at your hand and say 'who cares' and have the serious convo anyways". It's true. She sent a drunken email off and if she'd had on her hand "Don't send any drunk emails" she would have just included it in her email to the person. "It even says don't email you on my hand right now"

Sunday was as much fun as Saturday. We had a great breakfast with everyone who stayed overnight and then we fed the llamas and then lounged around all afternoon. Much much thanks to the cleaning duo A-Dub and Dr. DS for all the incredible hard work they did while we sat on our butts and nursed our hangovers. Shout out to the Snakebite club

I had a fabulous birthweek this year. Here's to a great 2007!
Love and peace to you all

Friday, 9 February 2007

Wish me luck

I am taking my computer in shortly to get it all cleaned up and transferred onto a new hard drive. Here's hoping that all goes well and I will have a new and improved computer this afternoon. Otherwise it'll be another couple of days before you hear from me again.

Monday, 5 February 2007

Superbowl commercial

Ok so I just saw the K-Fed superbowl commercial and loved it so I am sharing it here with you guys. Enjoy!

B-day week begins!

Yay, February! As many of you know, February is my birth month. I am a fan of the lengthy bday celebrations so I like to extend the day into a week or two if I can. It all started yesterday with brunch at my Grandpa's. He and his girlfriend had my sis and I over for asparagus and cheese sauce on toast and birthday cake for both our bdays. A&CSOT -the quick way to say what we had for brunch - is a family favourite. My grandpa's mom used to make it for her family and it's been passed down at least since then. Delish!
The celebration continues tomorrow with a day at the spa. Wednesday night I am going to a lecture about love. Thursday (the actual big day) I am seeing my dad in the afternoon for tea and a visit and then my sister and her bf are making me dinner and having a lil party for me. Friday, I get to babysit an adorable two and a half year old who has completely warmed me up to kids. We are going to have a tea party and sing songs from The Little Mermaid. Saturday, my other sis, who had her bday just two weeks ago, and I are throwing ourselves a small, intimate bday karaoke party. Sunday, breakfast at dad's and Jazz Vespers. Ahhhh the perfect bday week. Now if only I could get rid of this cold.

Sunday, 4 February 2007

Happy Birthday M.

Happy birthday MR! Just got in from a night of celebration for mr's bday and had a great time meeting new people, mingling with old friends and eating the best damn hot wings I've ever had. I used to call MR my sister's friend and now I call him mine.
Have a great time in Mexico!

Saturday, 3 February 2007

Oinkstee and Oinkster

One of the first things that I clearly remember is from when I was about 5 years old. My memories of events before then are fleeting and vague. I don't know if I remember them as my own experiences or just because I have been told the stories by my parents and older sisters so many times.

This memory is mine for sure.

ST and I shared a room. I was 5 and she was 7. We slept in twin beds with a little bedside table between us. On the ceiling, centered over us was a light fixture. It was a smooth, white bowl of glass and light hanging above us. At night, we kept our door half open and the hall light on to keep us safe from total darkness. The shadow fell across our own light fixture in such a way that made it look just like a half moon. We saw that there was a dark side and a light side to this bedroom moon.

We had very active imaginations and we used to pretend that we had these little tiny pet pigs that lived on our shoulders. Their names were Oinkstee and Oinkster. At night we would lie in bed and talk and giggle and just before we fell asleep we would send our little pet pigs up to the moon. We would call out warnings for them to stay away from the dark side and come back safely before morning.

Friday, 2 February 2007

she's an addict

So after st called me yesterday to make sure I had popcorn, butter and salt and vinegar powder, we never ended up making it. Instead, we ate spicy chinese food and drank wine. At one point during the evening she said to me "do you have the s&v powder?" I directed her to it thinking that she was gearing up to pop some popcorn and then I forgot completely about it.

This is the series of emails that happened between us after she went home.


what will help my wine spicy food dehydration?
s&v powder!
regret to follow.

wait one second.
... you took the powder home with you.
I'm not sure that was allowed.

just polishing it off
heh heh

LAUGHING myself.
that's fuckin funny

i picked it up and casually laid it on top of my jacket so that you'd have the option of seeing it. i left it there for a while and when i left tucked it into my purse. ouchy tongue.

"you'd have the option of seeing it"
are you kidding me?
fucking hilarious

this reasoning allowed me to not feel like i was being deceptive or sneaky. it was right there in plain view. heh heh.

how's yer tongue?


ouchy wah wah

Thursday, 1 February 2007

Just what the doctor ordered

I had an appointment early yesterday morning with my chiropractor, who also doubles as a life coach from time to time.

"I want you to try something called seeding" she said to me.
"Seating?" I asked with confusion written all over my face.

"No. Seeding. I want you to pick something as your goal and picture it so well that you can taste it, feel it, touch it. I want you to be able to create it in your mind so precisely that you can close your eyes and imagine that it already exists for you. And then I want you to make it happen."

I continued staring at her blankly.

"Ok, I can see you aren't getting it. Let's start really small. What is something you would want for today?"

A pineapple blizzard from dairy queen would taste good, I think to myself.

"Come on, the first thing that pops into your head. Something you'd like to get or have or do for yourself today."

"um...I don't know. A pineapple blizzard."

"Perfect. Great. Ok, I want you to picture that and at some point today go get yourself a pineapple blizzard. Once you've done that come up with another goal, maybe a little bigger and picture it and then make it happen."

"Alright. I can do that."

"Good. I can't wait to read the email about it later."

"Is that your way of telling me that you'd like me to write about this experience and email it to you?"

"Yep. Good luck. See you in a couple."

You would think I would have learned by now, being all evolved n'shit that it's never really about the pineapple blizzard. Here is the email I sent to my chiropractor late last night.

Holy crap. Good job on giving me that assignment by the way. Who knew?! I already know the answer to this rhetorical question. You did. You knew.

In the very short period of time from leaving your office and walking to my car, I had come up with a number of reasons why I could not, would not get a pineapple blizzard. The timing wouldn't work. I didn't want to sabotage my workout. I didn't want to unnecessarily spend money. I don't even really like ice cream. I didn't really want a blizzard (yes I did ) I was just being forced to pick something so I said Blizzard. the list goes on.

Epiphany! wow. So this is what I do when I want something. I judge it, I doubt it, I rethink it, I talk myself out of it, I reason why I shouldn't want it, I dismiss it, I sabotage my chances of getting it.
This is what I do with most things I want in life.

Before I even fessed up to you that I wanted a pineapple blizzard, I judged that it wasn't the "right" answer. It wasn't what you wanted to hear. I was embarrassed to say it because it was food. Food from a fast food restaurant - gasp - even worse.

I drove out to Abbotsford mulling over all this new information and my understanding of it was elusive. I'd get it and all of it as clear as a bell and then I wouldn't really understand it and then I would and then I wouldn't.

25% of my brain still knew that I wasn't going to be getting a blizzard at any point today. Mostly, the timing didn't work for me. I'd be working til 2:30 and not home until 5 at which point I would need to eat dinner, digest, get to the gym and as if I'd be showering and making myself presentable enough to go out to DQ and buy a blizzard late in the evening. Wasn't going to happen.

The universe has such an interesting way of helping you out though. I got to work and instantly got a text message that the student wouldn't be at school today and my services weren't needed. A day off. All the time in the world. I turned around and started the long drive home.

Now what do I do?.

I guess I go get myself a pineapple blizzard.

I drove home imagining the treat as exactly that. A treat. Something I deserved. Something I wanted. Something I was allowed to have. Something I was supposed to have.

As I got closer to Kits, I once again started coming up with things that got in the way. I didn't have cash. I didn't want to use my debit for a $3 purchase. Traffic on Broadway is hell these days.

I let my mind go there and noticed it and let it be and kept driving on my pb mission. I imagined how it would taste and how much I would enjoy it. I kept reverting my mind back to the point - the goal - picturing something I wanted and doing what it took to get it.

At this point I knew that I was doing it. Whatever it took. Re-routing to avoid traffic on Broadway. Going to the bank to get cash. Going to DQ. Getting past feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable walking into a fast food joint and ordering a blizzard. I did it all.

I sat back down in my car. I had planned on saving the blizzard for when I got home. I was going to sit down and eat this thing with focus, purpose and my eyes tightly closed so I could enjoy every bite. It had other plans that involved melting all over my hands and car so I dug in right there. I think that God himself made this particular blizzard. I sat in my car and closed my eyes and savoured each and every bite until I was sure I could put it down and drive home without making a blizzardy mess all over my car.

I never finished the whole thing. I got home and ate more of it. with focus and with purpose. I finished half and that was all I needed. The moment it became less enjoyable I put it down.

Point taken. Lesson not quite yet learned but at least introduced to my brain.

My next goal is to get pampered at a spa. Foot massage, pedicure, head neck and shoulder massage. glass of wine and a day of me. I can almost picture it....

This might not have been what you meant when you said I look forward to getting an email about it but you do encourage me to write so...

In choosing to have it be this email over one that said,

Got a blizzard. Got the lesson.

I decided to go with the lengthy one because I love to tell a story rather than cutting to the chase.
See you in a couple,

I've got all my sisters with me

My sisters are on their way over for an impromptu girls night. ST just called before leaving her house to make sure I had popcorn and salt and vinegar powder and butter. I do and she exclaimed that I just made her night. Gotta go get my pad ready for the lasses. So much fun!